


Let's Live Again

by galaxies_of_little_moments



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, But they heal each other, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Sex, F/M, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Jean and Pieck are broken, Mentions of Death, Mutual Pining, Post-Rumbling (Shingeki no Kyojin), Romance, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:02:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 39,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29352417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxies_of_little_moments/pseuds/galaxies_of_little_moments
Summary: In a Rumbling-completed world Jean Kirstein is a broken man who desires to bring life back into Pieck Finger. Somehow, he also finds himself healing in the process.
Relationships: Pieck Finger/Jean Kirstein
Comments: 99
Kudos: 389





	1. Fateful Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Enjoy!

Jean glanced at his reflection in the mirror one last time before sliding his fancy shoes on and heading out. As he made his way through the streets of Stohess his face remained stone cold, wanting to ensure that no one would approach him. The ability to have a conversation was not one of Jean’s strong suits anymore. Especially when he wasn’t in acting mode yet.

He’d been like this ever since the Rumbling, which had been completed just over a year ago. All life outside Paradis was wiped out. And to match that, there was almost no life left in him now. 

When he returned with the rest of the survivors he was pardoned by the Queen. Jean did not think of her as Historia anymore. They had already become quite distant over the years. The same way he couldn’t look at any of his other friends and pretend that everything was okay or that they could go back to living normal lives again. 

With only a few Yeagarists knowing that he and the others in the Alliance tried to stop the Rumbling, their actions were kept secret from the rest of Paradis. The Queen, who understood why they made the choice to fight for humanity outside the walls, told them that what was done was done. And that what they can try to do now is live a life. 

Paradis still believed they were the heroes of humanity. And all they were expected to do was play the part when needed to. Attend a gala here and there and keep up appearances as symbols of freedom. 

The retired Commanding Officer closed his eyes. 

A decade ago he had pictured himself in this exact location at this moment in his life. Those fantasies always had a happy Jean in him, flashing a bright smile at passersby as he made his way to a relaxing job, free of any stress. 

That was until that day he stumbled upon Marco’s body. Everything had changed from then on.

He couldn’t remember the last time he smiled for real. Was it that day they all had fun in that Marley refugee zone? Probably. When was that? Three years ago, give or take.

As the former Scout finally reached the event hall, he adjusted his tie. He felt like he was being strangled. Jean’s mind flashed to Reiner. 

He now understood that man through and through. The feeling of bearing the blood of billions of people on his hands made Reiner’s sin pale in comparison. Though Jean knew this was not a competition. 

He had always believed that whether it was one life or some billions of lives it was all the same. Bloodshed was bloodshed. The last thing he ever wanted to do was contribute to it. 

And here he was, enjoying all the benefits that came at the cost of lives he did not even take himself. Yet the guilt was all the same.

And every time he meets his fellow comrades now, he could see that same feeling resonating with them. 

Speaking of which. 

“Jean. Over here,” a low voice called to him as he made his way into the grand hall. He tried to avoid looking at his surroundings as much as possible.

He hated this hall. It illuminated in a yellow hue from the incandescent light bulbs, which gave the room a twisted feeling of false brightness. But every step he took in it made him feel like he was descending even further into darkness. 

The array of round tables covered in white cloths and silk napkins made him suddenly long for the wooden bench tables they all sat at during their training days and their early days in the Survey Corps. The consistent pain in his chest began to grow. 

The ash brown-haired man made his way over to the owner of the voice. It was Connie, dressed similar to him and holding a silver flask in his hand. It had been about a month since he had seen him and everyone else.

His best friend gave him a small smile and shoved the flask towards him.

“Here. Looks like you need it more,” he sighed.

Jean gladly accepted it. 

The two men stood side by side, leaning against the hall’s back wall in silence for a moment. Connie crossed his arms over his chest and looked down. The taller man knew they shared the same sentiments about this damn room. 

“How have you been man? Did you bring your girl?” he asked his oldest friend. Connie shook his head.

“Alina’s the only good thing in my life. Bringing her here would taint that,” he muttered. 

Jean nodded and took a sip out of the flask. It was strong whiskey and very much needed. 

“You look like you were run over by a train. Anything new with our CO?”

“Ex-CO, you idiot. I don’t want to be commanding anything for the rest of my life. Fuck that shit,” the Survey Corps veteran muttered. 

Connie let out a small chuckle under his breath, turning towards his friend and jabbing him in the shoulder.

“Say that a little louder and these geezers are going to freak that one of the ‘heroes of Paradis’ isn’t what he appears to be,” he shot back.

“Can say the same for you. You look like shit. And you could have at least tried to put on a tie,” Jean grumbled, taking another swig before shoving the flask back into his friend’s hand. 

They stood and talked for a good while, hating that they both appeared to have arrived much earlier than everyone else. At least no one seemed to be bothering them.

Connie told him he was thinking of marrying his girlfriend Alina, who he had been dating for just over six months. Jean could tell she was the one for his friend as well. Their personalities matched well and Alina understood Connie’s darker side and the complications that came with it. 

He was relieved for his friend. After losing Sasha the relationship between the two men grew much more somber as they tried to process her loss. Their already deteriorating mental health, coupled with everything else that followed her death, had gone in an identically steep downwards trajectory. 

At least until Alina had come into Connie’s life. She had given his friend a crutch that a broken Jean could not give him. 

“And we’re out. I need another drink. You need one too,” Connie sighed, snapping the lid back on his flask and standing up straight. 

The taller man did the same, whipping his head up and taking in the dreadful room again. As he adjusted his black coat he noticed that many more folks were now present. Great.

As the two men began their journey over to the bar, eyes followed them. The people they walked past greeted them and Jean flashed his signature fake smile as he made his way through the crowd. He received pats from strangers and fists in the air as some drunk fools cheered. 

He hated it all. It made him feel sick. All he could think of were the images of death and destruction around him and his friends as Eren continued the Rumbling after subduing them all. 

The people surrounding him reminded him of Titans. He feared them the same and maybe even hated the people more. Funny how the world works.

“Sorry, gentlemen. We’ll be right back. Looks like we need to get on your level,” he heard Connie joke as they somehow pushed past everyone.

They made it to the bar in the corner of the room next to the other entrance. Jean cursed under his breath as he fixed his hair. A man in the crowd had ruffled it in his drunken stupor. 

It didn’t look like anyone was at the bar when they approached. That is, until they heard the light clanging of glass behind the circular counter. When they finally made it there, Jean could see the back of a woman, crouched down and arranging bottles on shelves under the counter.

The first thing that drew his attention was the long, wavy black hair that she had. He could also tell from her frame that she was quite petite. 

“Excuse me, ma'am. Sorry to bother you. Think we can get a drink?” Connie asked, as he leaned against the counter. They both froze when the woman turned around. 

Barely anything ever shocked Jean anymore. But he would have to admit this took him quite by surprise. He never thought he would see her again. 

“Pieck,” he whispered, watching as the small woman who had once fought alongside him stood up and turned to face them. 

She was wearing a long sleeved black dress that stopped just around the middle of her thighs. Maybe even slightly above that. There were white collars popping out from under her dress. The tall soldier recognized that this was the uniform for young female errand workers.

Errand workers were used for spontaneous, quick jobs that required labour for only a day or two. The pay was shit and Jean wasn't going to act like he didn't hear stories that revolved around some errand workers, particularly young, pretty female ones. 

His eyes travelled to her face again as he managed to pull himself back together from the initial shock.

She looked mostly similar to the way she did the last time Jean had seen her. Mostly.

Jean could see it. The look of nothingness in her eyes. He recognized it very well. She was now a shell of the person she once was. As was he.

With the end of the Rumbling, the thirteen year curse had been lifted and so Pieck was able to live a long life. But from the looks of it, she was a walking corpse now. As was he.

“Pieck!” Connie echoed. The shorter man couldn’t contain his shock as well as Jean was able to. 

Though he couldn’t help but continue to stare at her. As former comrades, albeit only for a very short time, there was an instant connection Jean felt with Pieck. A connection he could only feel with the last few Survey Corps members.

“How? Where have you been? How did you end up here?” his friend continued on. 

Pieck stared blankly at them before she turned around just a bit and looked over her shoulder. Both men followed the movement until their eyes fell on a sign hanging behind the young woman.

**THE PERSON BEHIND THIS COUNTER IS A MARLEYAN PRISONER OF WAR. DO NOT CONVERSE.**

Jean’s eyes widened and he gritted his teeth. He knew eyes were on them so he had to maintain his composure. Out of the corner of his eye he could see that Connie was on the same page. 

The former soldiers watched as Pieck bent to pick up two empty glasses. She looked between the both of them, waiting for them to let her know what they wanted. 

“Oh um…” Connie began. Jean knew his friend was feeling uncomfortable to ask for anything now. 

Before he was able to jump in so they did not arouse suspicion, a hand landed on Jean’s shoulder.

He looked back to see Chancellor Sterling, a member of the Royal court. He was a stumpy, middle aged man with a permanent look of smugness on his face. Oh, how Jean wished he could punch it off of him. 

“Evening gentlemen. Looking dashing as always,” the man sang.

If Jean could make his own sign it would say: 

**THIS IS A ROYAL COURT PIG. DO NOT CONVERSE.**

And he would have felt quite pleased with himself. 

“How’s it going Chancellor? Anything special planned for this evening?” Jean asked, flashing his set of pearly whites at the annoying man before him.

“Nothing special. Just a few promotions for our military boys. They would love it if you two gave them their medals,” he answered. 

Jean had to bite his tongue to resist asking what the point of militarization was when there wasn’t a soul left outside Paradis. 

“Hey you! What’s taking you so long! These men have been here for ages! You fuckin’ Marleyan trash,” Sterling growled at Pieck. Connie jumped in before Jean could.

“That’s our bad, sir. Jean and I were contemplating whether or not we should have our drinks straight or mixed,” he explained.

Meanwhile, the taller soldier noted Pieck’s lack of reaction to the scolding, and really to everything that was happening around her. She really did seem dead. Part of Jean envied her. At least she was able to look the way she felt.

“You’re men! Of course you should drink it straight! It’s up to you to show our younger boys what it is to be heroes,” the old man who wouldn’t shut the fuck up continued on. 

“Right sir. Two Glens, neat please,” Connie said turning over to Pieck. Jean could hear her get to work as he shifted back towards the personification of annoyance.

“Is there anything you want, Chancellor?” Jean asked with an underlying tone. He hated that this man was all up in his business right now. The Chancellor shook his head and rambled on about not being able to drink in order to help the Queen and how dutiful he was for doing so. 

The older man then cocked his head to look at what was happening behind the counter. Jean did not miss the lascivious way the man’s eyes travelled up and down Pieck’s body. It left a disgusting feeling in his gut. The former Survey Corps Officer attempted to create some kind of barrier between those two as he turned his own body back towards the bar so he could grab his drink. 

Connie had apparently decided to ditch him so he could catch up with Hitch, who was already seated at a table near the bar.

This time when Jean glanced at Pieck he saw something he had completely missed even with all the previous staring. He had been so focused on the emptiness of her eyes that he didn’t notice the little cut on her lower lip. 

“Pieck-”

“Jean! Connie! It’s time we get you two seated! Oh, the others haven’t arrived yet?” a shrill voice called from across the room. It was Governess Martha, also a member of the Royal court. 

The Chancellor and the Governess proceeded to have a loud conversation from one end of the grand hall to the other.

Through all the fuss, Jean hadn’t taken his eyes off Pieck once. When he caught her glance over at him he felt many things course through him. Pain, pity, frustration, anger. But mostly empathy. 

Without thinking, Jean’s hand moved on its own, reaching over the counter to touch her lower lip. Though entirely shocked at what he was doing, he softly ran his thumb over the cut. 

Pieck stared back at him in understandable shock as well, before she snapped out of it and stepped out of his reach. She looked around, to check if anyone else had witnessed what had just happened, before she shot him a glare that sent chills up his spine.

It wasn’t the glare itself that gave him a jolt. It was the tiny bit of life he caught in her eye when she gave him the look. 

Good. That meant there was hope for her. 

The small interaction awakened something in Jean as well. It was as if seeing some life in her could mean there might still be life left somewhere in his own walking corpse of a body. 

And so, as he was suddenly pulled away by the Governess, Jean couldn’t help but look back at the first person who made him feel alive after a long time.


	2. Endure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Happy Valentine's Day! Hope you enjoy the chapter!

She should have realized there was a high chance of meeting them all this evening. Connie, Armin, Mikasa.  _ Jean _ . Pieck hoped they wouldn’t approach the bar anymore and so far it seemed like they were actually trying to keep a distance.

If Pieck had the privilege to feel, she was sure she would feel envy and even some anger at those four Scouts. They had all been allies and yet the situation they found themselves in now was very different. 

Those Survey Corps members didn’t have to do anything else for the rest of their lives. They were just expected to flash a pretty smile, shake a few hands and go home. 

Pieck, on the other hand, was living every single day like a zombie. She was already dead, she was sure of it. She was convinced the only reason her heart was still beating now was for Falco and Gabi. She was going to make sure they lived good lives-  _ normal _ lives- after all they had gone through. 

Guess this was just how cruel the world was. Or at least what was left of the world. 

_ Endure _ .

She was quite certain Jean was sneaking glances over at her through the entire event. Of course, that would mean the former Cart Titan was peeking over at him herself. 

But who could blame her? The man could have gotten her into a lot of trouble. 

Pieck bit her lip, wincing at the pain she felt as her teeth grazed the cut. She received it from her one-day employer, Mr. Aurelius, just before starting this shift. It was punishment for refusing to have sex with him. 

In the past year she had always run into these sticky situations. On one hand, she knew she wasn’t going to let anyone force themselves on her or force her into that side of errand work. On the other hand, this meant there was a limited amount of work that requested females. 

And she had mouths to feed.

_ Endure _ .

“Hey lady, can’t you give me a smile when I approach you?” a disorderly and clearly very drunk young man whined at her as he banged his empty glass on the bar counter. 

Her dead stare seemed to tempt him even more.

“Is that how you want to play?” he smirked, attempting to grab her hand as she took hold of the glass. 

Pieck was quicker than him. Of course she was. She was a Warrior after all. Dealing with fools like this was nothing to her. 

As she moved to place the used glass on the back counter, she heard the drunk man fall over. Must have lost balance. Not her problem. 

She learned very quickly that the best way to avoid getting into trouble was to be observant and quick. If she couldn’t talk then she had to use her actions. 

She didn’t have to master the dead stare. That has been quite a permanent look on her face ever since the Rumbling had been completed. 

It took just a few altercations for her to get into a smooth rhythm of swiftly avoiding hands and lips. And if all it cost her was a cut on her lip every so often then that was okay with her.

Tonight though, the former Warrior was very much bothered about something. 

For someone who evaded physical approaches like it was nothing, she had just stood there,  _ frozen _ , as Jean’s hand reached over to touch her. 

She hated that her mind ran through the moment over and over again. Why did she just stand there and watch? 

That was very dangerous. It could have cost her this job. And if she didn’t get today’s pay, she wouldn’t be able to get some new clothes for the kids before they were to start school.

Pieck eyed the pocket watch that she used to keep track of time. Her fingers drifted to the small clasp at the top and she pulled the two sides apart, revealing how much longer she was required to be in this place.

Only ten more minutes or so. She could handle that. And then she would be off to her regular night shift. 

_ Endure _ .

“You. Give me a bottle of anything strong,” a lady’s voice called for her, snapping Pieck out of her mini break. 

As she got back to work she could have sworn she felt his eyes on her again.

_____________________________________  
  


“Jean.”

The ash brown-haired man turned back to face Armin again. He wondered if his smart friend had noticed his glances towards the bar. Actually he was quite sure he did. This particular Scout never missed a thing. 

“Yeah?” he muttered, crossing his arms and tilting his head at the blonde man as if to ask if he really wanted to bring it up. 

“You looked distracted, that’s all,” Armin relayed his observations. His friend gave him a bit of a warning look, though Jean also noted the slight tenderness in his voice. The feeling was reciprocated. 

The taller soldier always had a soft spot for Armin, ever since their early Survey Corps days. They had great conversations and strategized well together. A tiny part of Jean, one that he isn’t very proud of, believed he was the one who helped bring out a different side of Armin. A side of him that the blonde man, having always been overshadowed by his best friends, did not know he possessed.

Well, none of that really mattered anymore, did it? Here they all were. Sitting around these geezers and young delusionals, playing a role written for them for the rest of their lives. 

Out of the four of them, Armin’s acting role was probably the most difficult. There were only a handful of them who truly knew what went on in his life: Armin himself, Jean, Mikasa, Connie, probably Alina, Hitch...and Annie. 

When they had all returned from the Rumbling, Annie, Pieck, Gabi and Falco were immediately separated from them. 

The Survey Corps Commander had the very intelligent idea to tell the people in the Royal court that the Marleyan Eldians allied with the Survey Corps to  _ help _ Eren complete the Rumbling. Thankfully, the Queen kept her mouth shut.

Armin had invited him over to his new house not long after. There he found none other than Annie, sitting with her legs up on the couch and a slight hint of tension on her similarly dead face as she stared at the brown-haired soldier. Her then-boyfriend, now-fiancée had plopped down next to her and taken her hand, encouraging her to speak. 

The former Female Titan explained that the Queen allowed for her and the other three Marleyan Eldians to live, as long as they didn’t cause any trouble. Annie and Pieck were to be registered as Marleyan prisoners of war and were allowed to find employment. It was helpful that there were only a few people alive who knew what they looked like. 

Armin did not want to risk her identity as the former Female Titan getting out, so they came up with a new identity for her. She was now known as Ophelia when they were out in public. 

Of course, she would never show up at these events, no matter how much the Governess begged to see Armin’s fiancée. That would be way too risky and the former Commander wasn’t stupid enough to let that happen.

Sitting next to the blonde man, straight across the table from Jean was Mikasa. She, like him and the others, still looked very much the same on the surface level. But he knew she was just as gone as the rest of them. 

She seemed uncomfortable in the dress that she was wearing. But she was pretty nevertheless. 

Comfort was probably the last thing on her mind, Jean figured. 

The four of them were destroyed on the inside. But at least Connie and Armin had people to process everything with. Jean and Mikasa, on the other hand, were alone.

Once upon a time, perhaps in a hilarious delusion now that he thought about it, Jean may have believed he could get somewhere with Mikasa.

But now he was certain that was never going to happen. Not anymore. They had both changed too much. Less than a handful of words were exchanged between the two of them now. And Jean was fine with that. 

Annie and Armin  _ were _ able to make their relationship work even though both parties were bearing all this damage. But that was because they had mutual interest in each other long before the events of the Rumbling. 

That was different from one-sided love. 

Though, he couldn’t really tell if he had been _in_ _love_ with Mikasa. He definitely hadn’t been loyal to her. He’d hooked up with women every now and then. And he never felt guilt or shame about it.

So maybe she had just been an unrequited crush. 

Either way, he didn’t want to think about that stuff anymore. He knew he didn’t deserve something as beautiful as love. 

All he wanted now was to  _ feel _ . 

Jean couldn’t help but glance at Pieck again. He cursed at himself for being so ignorant. It had been an entire year and not once did he even consider where she would be or how she was doing.

Of course she would be having a difficult time.

And the kids? What was going on with them? 

All Jean had done for a year was stay at home, curled in a ball with his hands over his ears, trying to shut out the screams and the blood and the bodies that stayed permanently etched in his head. 

Every now and then he would get up and walk into town, playing the role of a retired Scout who was proud to be a hailed a “hero of Paradis”. Sometimes he would have to go train the young soldiers through leadership and team-building exercises. And he would get a steady flow of monthly payments from the Royal Palace to keep up the act. 

The former Commanding Officer was a pretentious conman who was utterly disgusted with himself. He was the same coward he started off as. 

No. He was actually worse. 

Because now he had all those memories that he once would have been proud to look back on. Memories of a brave Jean who never let go of his morality. The one who could read the minds of those in trouble or those who were lost and know how to help them best. The one who valued the lives of every single one of his comrades. 

Where was that Jean? Could he ever come back?

The tall soldier had noticed the slight difference in his heart rate ever since that earlier moment he had with Pieck. He  _ felt _ something when it happened. And he knew he felt something because he was still feeling it. 

Maybe this was a wake-up call. Or a slap in the face back to reality. Whatever it was, Jean wanted to hold onto it. 

He wanted to feel it even more. 

He didn’t know why but he suddenly wanted to help. And he hadn’t  _ wanted _ to do anything since that day humanity outside Paradis was crushed right under him.

Everything else aside, Pieck had been his comrade. And so were those kids. 

He had to do something.

Jean smiled and applauded as the absolutely unnecessary event came to an end. Armin and Mikasa were swept away immediately by the Chancellor, who was excited to display the “legendary best friends of the hero Eren Yeagar” to the newest soldiers. 

Jean, on the other hand, was swarmed with the usual crowd of tipsy women. Thankfully, he had Connie to help him out.

“Unfortunately, Jean and I have some business to attend to. Sorry ladies,” he smirked at them as he tugged on his taller friend’s arm. 

Jean usually would have rushed out at twice the speed, but today he almost resisted Connie’s pull. He wanted to linger and somehow find a chance to talk to her.

It was complete idiocy, he knew. 

As he was dragged outside by his loyal friend, the former Scout was wondering where Pieck would be. Hopefully she wasn’t far. 

The two men stopped when they were a decent distance from the hall. 

“Look at you getting ambushed. A consequence of being single, I guess,” Connie sighed.

“Connie. I need to go back. I...need to see Pieck,” Jean whispered to his former comrade. 

“Hm?”

He watched as the expression on his friend’s face changed from confused to understanding. He had been Connie’s friend long enough to know the shorter man could easily read him. He was actually scary good at it. So it didn’t take long for him to figure things out based on what he knew about Jean. Or at least the old Jean. 

Connie moved his arm to pat him on the shoulder. Jean caught the look of hope in his friend’s eye. Was he hopeful for  _ him _ ?

“Gotcha. Just be careful. And keep in touch, you idiot,” he muttered, his tone serious. 

Jean nodded, patting the shorter man’s hand that rested on him before turning back towards the grand hall. 

Oh wait. Before that. 

“Oi, propose to her already,” he mumbled to his friend, catching Connie’s eyebrows raising at the sudden demand.

“I will!” he heard his friend call out a few seconds after Jean began to make his way back into the building.

He quickly popped his head into the hall and glanced over at the bar.

Damn. She was gone. 

He hadn’t seen her leave the hall through his exit. So there was a high chance she used the other one.

Jean thought about his options. If he stepped into the hall he would risk getting swarmed again or, even worse, running into the Governess. If Pieck did leave the other way, he could just snake around the building to get over there.

The second option sounded much more appealing to the former Scout. 

He made his way past the last few people who were leaving his side of the hall. As he circled around the place, he finally spotted the other exit. People were still shuffling out of this one. 

Jean kept a fair bit of distance as he hid in the shadows, not wanting to be seen by anyone else. Something in his gut told him to wait there. 

If she was an errand worker that meant she had to wait until the end of the event for her pay. It was highly likely she was still somewhere inside, perhaps in a staff area. 

After about ten minutes everything was silent. No one had come out of the exit for a while.

Okay so maybe he was actually a complete dumbass who had miscalculated the situation. Of course this shit happens to him. 

The squeaking sound of a door opening startled him out of his self-loathing. He watched from afar as Pieck exited the building. A boisterous man was leaving the building with her. They took a few steps out before the former Warrior turned towards him. 

“Your pay, eh? Why the rush?” Jean overheard the man sneer.

He watched as Pieck’s expression remained the same. Cold and dead. She extended her hand out, waiting for the man to give her what he owed. 

“Careful miss. If you keep up that attitude you could end up dead in a ditch,” he warned her. Nevertheless, he reached into his pocket for a pouch. 

After he handed the petite woman her pay, he roughly clasped his hand over her shoulder. 

“You know. The earlier offer still stands. And I’ll give you double,” Jean heard him say. 

The former Scout’s frown turned into a scowl at the implication. The second the creep began leaning towards her, Jean’s feet started to move on their own. 

But before he could even make his presence known, he watched as Pieck’s free hand came up to slap the man hard in the face, causing him to let go of her. The action made Jean freeze in his tracks. 

Whoa. 

The man was obviously even more shocked. 

“You bi-”

“There you are,” Jean called out, coming out of the shadows just as the fucking loser raised his hand to strike back at the former Warrior. 

The slightly startled look on Pieck’s face as he approached may have been worth the dramatic entrance.


	3. Walk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you for all the encouraging comments! Hope you like this chapter :)

The man dropped his arm and straightened up as the former Commanding Officer of the Survey Corps approached the pair. 

Jean noticed Pieck was very quick to get back to being expressionless. 

“Mr.Kirstein? Is that really you? What an absolute honour,” the man said as he gawked at him.

Jean flashed a smile at the man as he came to a halt right next to the petite black-haired woman. 

“Ah, you seem to know me. But I have to admit I have no idea who you are,” he said, hoping his words stung the pathetic excuse of a human in his soul. 

He appeared to have thicker skin than Jean assumed as he extended his hand for the former Scout to shake. 

“My name is Morgan Aurelius. I was tonight’s event coordinator. Again, it’s so great to meet you sir,” the man attempted to flatter him. 

Jean took his hand, intentionally squeezing it with extra force as somewhat of a warning to the creep about who he’s dealing with.

“Pleasure’s mine. Now if you don’t mind, I need to be off with this young lady over here,” he said, gesturing to Pieck who was thankfully staying quiet through all this.

He was tempted to check up on her to see if she was alright. He knew she was strong. And holy fuck did the sound of that slap still pierce through his ears. However, that man had been gripping onto her so tightly that Jean was sure it would be painful for anyone to endure. 

He narrowed his eyes just a bit. First he needed to get rid of this man. 

As Connie reminded him, he had to be careful. If he showed care for Pieck in front of other people, there was a high chance that news would get back to the Royal court. And that would just mean more trouble for them both. 

Armin and Annie had to hide their relationship. Sasha and Niccolo as well back then. Jean wasn’t stupid. He knew if he, a single man, was seen frequently with Pieck, things could become messy. He was sure the former Titan shifter was thinking about that as well. 

“Oh?  _ Oh _ . Now things make sense,” the Aurelius guy exclaimed, belting out an annoying laugh that made Jean want to roll his eyes. 

“I don’t follow. What do you mean?” he asked the bumbling idiot. 

“It’s nothing at all. I had been wondering why Miss Pieck had refused to work another job for me. But now I see. She has a young lad like yourself to keep her busy,” the man suggested, giving Jean a look that took the former Scout a lot of restraint not to punch off his face.

Jean weighed his options right now. He could just ignore the implication the man was making and leave with Pieck. Or he could come up with some lie to explain the situation he was in with her. He hadn’t seen this Morgan Aurelius guy anywhere before this so maybe the gossip wouldn’t get far. 

Although the man  _ did _ just plan an event for the Royal court. Fuck. 

“Guess we’ll be off then,” Jean announced, deciding on the first option. It was less risky and meant that they could get away from this piece of shit faster. 

He sensed movement from the woman standing next to him. All he could hope for was that she would at least play along and come with him. After all, she must be wanting to get away from this man far more than the ex-CO wanted to. 

“Of course, I won’t take up any more of your time. Enjoy your night sir. Glad we were able to meet. And Miss Pieck, take good care of him. He’s a hero of Paradis. One who deserves nothing less than the best service,” Aurelius babbled on. 

Jean was sure if the man had said two more words nothing would stop him from putting his fancy dress shoe in his mouth. 

To his surprise, his former comrade was the first to begin walking away. He only took a second to fall right in line with her as they finally walked away from the creep. 

It was dead silent between the two of them as they walked for a few minutes. Jean came to the realization that she was actually walking to a particular location. 

Peeking through the corner of his eye, he looked at the Warrior. 

She sure was pretty. Her wavy black hair was striking even at night. And Jean had almost forgotten how small she was compared to him. But it wasn’t like her being petite ever deterred her from being a complete badass.

The former member of the Survey Corps knew she was a force to be reckoned with. After all, whether it was when they were enemies or allies, she had been highly effective in battle.

Right now though, they weren’t in battle. They were just walking. And the former Scout didn’t know what to say. So of course his brain came up with something entirely lame.

“So...Pieck. I see you’re going by your real name,” he mumbled out, cringing at how fake the words came out. He said the phrase like he was talking to a friend. But they both knew they were nothing close to that. 

He knew the Warrior was smart. She could see through his bullshit easily. She was probably able to see through the entire hero facade the moment she saw him this evening. 

They kept walking in silence, turning a corner every now and then. He decided to try again.

“Hey, Pieck. Let’s stop and talk,” he suggested. This time his voice was serious and determined. 

The dead-eyed woman didn’t stop. She continued to walk as if there was no one even next to her. 

Jean sighed, staying in step with her. 

“Come on. We should talk,” he continued on.

After a couple more tries he started to feel hopeless about the situation. It wasn’t looking like the Warrior was going to give him the time of day. 

In a moment of frustration Jean picked up speed and swiveled around so that he now stood face to face with her, blocking her path. 

He caught the tiniest hint of a flinch and felt a bit of disgust for his actions. Right now he wasn’t acting very much different than the other men Pieck had come across tonight. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare y-”

“What do you want?” a voice that slightly resembled Pieck’s asked him. It was a tone filled with coldness and distance. 

Jean also found himself stuck in her gaze. Only this time it wasn’t a glare or a dead stare. It was something that made him uncomfortable. 

It was a look that admitted defeat. It was like she was calling him out for flexing his entitlement over her. 

And he had been acting entitled without realizing it. He swept in, thinking he was helping her when she likely would have been able to handle that situation on her own. When he talked to Aurelius he didn’t confront him about what he had just seen. He let the man praise his heroism and pretty much pat him on the back about booking Pieck for the night. And instead of thinking quick on the spot and clearing things up, he just ran away from the situation.

All while she kept her mouth shut because she had to. Jean was able to talk, but he didn’t. 

Always a fucking coward.

And now here he was. 

The retired soldier knew he had no plan. That this was out of complete stupidity and impulse. It was him chasing a  _ feeling _ . 

But now that he was standing here alone with Pieck, he didn’t know how to answer her question.  
  


_____________________________________

Pieck didn’t know what to do. Her regular routine for a dead person with a heartbeat had been disrupted by this man today. 

And he was evidently at a loss for words in front of her right now. 

She took this time to observe him. 

The former Cart Titan could tell he had been through a lot in the past year. Though he still had his handsome face, long hair and goatee, his eyes were sunken even more than when she had last seen him. The bags under his eyes matched hers. 

Of course he couldn’t sleep well. She was sure none of them were able to get through the night without those horrors flashing back in their minds.

Almost every night, she would wake up to one of the kids having a panic attack and have to help them through it. Some nights it was both of them.

For Falco it was mainly breathing problems. Sometimes he would be mumbling incoherent things as he struggled to breathe. Pieck would have to wake him up and then her and Gabi would talk him into taking breaths. Gabi’s nightmares were a mix of screams and cries. The best way to help her was with one of them holding her until she calmed down. 

Pieck was glad she was silent when she had her nightmares. She would wake up breathless, similar to Falco, and crawl away from the kids so they wouldn’t hear her. And then she would just lean against a wall and try to calm herself down. 

She wondered what Jean’s nightmares were like. 

“I’m sorry.”

The Warrior snapped out of her thoughts and continued to stare at the man in front of her. She couldn’t tell if hearing those words were a good thing or bad. 

The tall Scout looked down at the ground, very apparently ashamed. Some of his long brown locks had fallen forward at the movement and danced along his cheeks. 

“I- I wish I could say I had been wondering where you three had gone. Or that I had thought about how you all were doing in the aftermath of...everything that went down. But that would be a lie. I’m so sorry,” Jean practically whispered to her. She could hear the hurt and guilt in his voice. 

A part of Pieck wanted to laugh at the apology. It was all so confusing.

She didn’t expect an apology from any of them. To be honest, she hadn’t expected to even see any of them again. 

And that was because  _ she _ wanted it that way.  _ She _ had been avoiding them from the day they had all returned back from the Rumbling. 

The former Cart Titan let out a breath that she didn’t realize she was holding. At the sound, Jean caught her eyes again.

“I don’t want your apology. It’s unnecessary,” she began to explain.

Right. If she quickly explained it then he would leave her alone again and she would make it in time for her night shift. 

Jean, however, jumped in before she was able to talk again.

“I do owe you an apology though. I don’t know what got into me. I would never abandon a comrade. And that’s what I did to you and those kids. I could blame it on other things but I want to be truthful,” he stated, his voice still slightly shaking. 

The Warrior didn’t know why but she let him continue. 

“This past year I’ve been...living a lie. When I’m outside I act one way, but I’m completely the opposite when I get back home. And breaking myself into parts like that is how I cope with it all. Now that I think about it, it’s similar to Reiner when he was going through his identity crisis with us. I completely get him now. The thing is, I think I shut everyone out thinking it would make the fantasy life I lived become reality. Every single day I would leave my house thinking that when I got back I would get better. That I would move on. But it never happened. And so I would try again and again. But really all I am is a broken man who hasn’t lived in reality for a year.”

The former Titan listened to him talk. Something made her feel like this was the most Jean had said to a person in a while. She wondered what it felt like for him. It must be nice to get it all out. 

“I know the life I’m living is nothing close to how difficult it must have been for you. And apologizing is something that I’m doing selfishly. It might even insult you. After all, my pathetic apology isn’t going to solve your problems,” the Scout realized, letting out a humourless chuckle.

It was Pieck’s turn to look away now. She started to feel more confused. And she didn’t like it. 

It wasn’t completely about what her former comrade was saying. It was actually the change in atmosphere. 

She didn’t know much about the man in front of her. There wasn’t a lot she was able to assess about him when they were busy trying to stop the Rumbling. 

But something she  _ did _ come to realize was that he was loyal. She could tell that he cared for his comrades, whether they had been with him for years or just a few days. Whether they had always been alongside him or had once betrayed him. It didn’t matter who they were. As his comrades, he gave all their lives equal importance.

The Warrior especially noticed this when they were fighting atop the Founding Titan. Even when she told him to forget about her, he came back to help when she was in trouble. Actually, she was quite sure she would have died right there. And it was such a risk to save her that  _ he _ could have died in the process. 

Thinking about it more, it was definitely in his character to chase her down and try to follow up on what happened to her. 

There was just something about Jean that almost made her want to pour out everything that was going through her mind. And that was dangerous. She didn’t want to fuck anything up in her routine and risk getting the kids into trouble. 

The man talking to her was a comrade. But right now he was a “hero of Paradis”. Even if he didn’t intend it, his loyalty would only be a hurdle for her and the kids. 

She had to harden her resolve. This felt too much like a trick being played on her by fate. 

“I have work in a few minutes. I need to get there soon,” Pieck said, hoping her voice sounded stable. 

She didn’t try look at the tall man and instead chose to walk around him. Their closeness as she moved past him allowed her to take in his scent. Jean smelled like expensive cologne. It was fitting for his persona.

As she continued to walk away from him she could hear his footsteps catching up. And then he was right by her side again. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hold you back. Where are you working?” he asked, trying to carry on the conversation Pieck desperately wanted to end. 

She kept deluding herself into thinking that if she just answered his questions, he would leave. 

“At one of the Stohess taverns. I’m a singer there,” she explained.

The man next to her hummed in response and the Warrior didn’t know what to make of it. She didn’t have time to think about anything really. She just knew she had to brush him off before she got to work or it could attract more attention towards her.

She worked at a tavern called Lazy Lassos between 10PM and 2AM. She didn’t mind the job, mostly because drunk people in taverns tended to mind their own business and leave her alone. Those who frequented the establishment were of the lower classes and, as Pieck had observed, mostly women. The owners were a middle aged couple and they were required to know her Marleyan POW status. They didn’t give a shit about any of that and told her they just needed a good singer. 

It was the most comfortable of her three jobs. And the tips were nice. 

“The kids...how are they? I’m assuming they’re with you,” Jean continued to pry.

“Yes they are. They’re...managing. They’ll be starting school soon,” Pieck answered quickly.

It was silent again. She could tell Jean was thinking hard about something. 

The former Titan thought about the kids again. While the Queen of Paradis told her and Annie that they had to register as Marleyan prisoners of war, Falco and Gabi were not expected to do so. 

Pieck was glad. They were given a chance for a blank slate at life. Both the kids chose their new names for when they were in public: Mia and Ben. Though the two thirteen year olds were still traumatized, she could see the hint of hope on their faces. 

That hope was what drove her the most. 

“How come no one has seen you here in Stohess? Surely one of us must have bumped into you before today,” the former Scout asked as they both turned the last corner. 

Pieck bit her lip, not caring about the pain caused by her cut. She didn’t have the time to explain herself to Jean. Hell, she didn’t even  _ want _ to tell him. She had been actively avoiding this exact situation. 

Yet now that she was in it, a tiny part of her wanted to say something. Perhaps there was a part of her that felt guilty for keeping her and the kids away from them. Maybe the kids would have been better off with one of them instead of with her. 

Pieck stopped a few buildings short of the tavern and turned towards her former comrade.

“I...have to leave now. And sorry but I don’t want you coming in,” she mumbled, avoiding his eyes and his question.

She could feel his eyes on her. She was sure he was trying to read her.

“I understand. I also want you to know that I want to be here for you and those kids. I know I’m late and, as you know, I’m a fucked up mess, but please just give me a little bit of time in your day. I want to hear what’s really gone on with you,” he requested.

The petite woman could faintly hear it in his voice. That tone of a leader. She hadn’t heard it since the Rumbling. Jean’s leadership voice, though, was different from most other leaders. It contained care just as much as it did conviction. 

“I don’t have the time,” Pieck whispered in response, meeting his eyes again. The hint of frustration in her voice was apparent to both parties. It was true. She really didn’t have the time. 

“I can wait,” Jean immediately countered, giving her a nod of assurance.

The Warrior knew that they could go back and forth like this forever. And it was either she did just that or she made it to work on time.

“I have to go. Don’t follow me. I mean it,” she muttered to him, turning away and quickly making her way towards the tavern.

Thankfully she didn’t hear those footsteps following her anymore. 

\--

After her shift had ended, Pieck reached into the jar and took out all the tips that she had acquired tonight. Shoving them in her pouch, she made her way off the stage and towards the front counter.

“Miss Pieck, good job today. You must be exhausted though. Mason told me you had errand work today on top of the two regular jobs,” Regina Stutzle, the co-owner of the tavern sighed in worry. 

She placed a box on the counter in front of Pieck. It was tonight’s leftovers. 

When she first started working there, the Stutzles had been insistent that she took the box home with her every night. They told her to just think of it as their own tips. And they didn’t even know about Gabi and Falco. They were just good people. 

“I’m fine, ma’am. Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow then,” she said softly, tippy-toeing to reach for the box atop the high counter. 

Mrs. Stutzle gave her an encouraging smile and a wave as she took off. 

The Warrior let out a tiny sigh as she stepped out into the chilly fall night. She only had to wait six more days for her pay. 

After taking a few more steps, she froze in place, unable to catch her jaw from slightly dropping. 

There he still was, just where she had left him. 

His tall figure was leaning against a lamp post and his arms were crossed, likely providing some heat to his body. Did he really stay outside like this for four hours?

His eyes had caught hers from the second she had spotted him, meaning he had kept his focus on the tavern the entire time. 

Pieck didn’t know why her legs started to move towards him. The voice inside her head was telling her to turn the other way and avoid him. But something made her go against the warnings. 

As she stopped in front of him, he straightened up, adjusting his suit jacket. Still looking her straight in the eyes, he leaned forward just a little. 

“I said I would wait. So please just tell me everything.” 


	4. Requests

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you for all the support! Enjoy!

For about five minutes they walked in silence. Jean hadn’t said anything or pushed her to talk either. He thought it was already a good sign that she didn’t chase him off. 

While waiting for her, he had made up his mind that if the former Warrior told him to leave one more time, he would. He wasn’t looking to harass her or stalk her.

He was glad that she approached him, signalling that it was okay for him to continue walking with her.

It wasn’t until a harsh breeze passed through them that they had their next exchange of dialogue.

The former Scout could feel how chilly it was outside. After all, he had just stood in it for four hours. He knew Pieck must be cold.

So he took off his suit jacket and smoothed it out neatly in his hands. 

“Here,” he offered the petite woman, seemingly shaking her out of her thoughts. 

Jean watched as she quickly scanned what was being handed to her.

“I’m fine,” she said, rejecting the article of clothing. 

“You should take it. I’m not that much of an idiot. It’s cold outside and you’re in a dress,” he pushed, rejecting her rejection. 

He couldn’t tell what was going on in her mind, but he was able to note a few things from her expression. The dead stare was still on her face, but along with it was a semblance of exhaustion and frustration.

He could also see the slight tremble of her hands as she held the box of what he assumed was food as she continued to walk forward.

“Please take it. I really insist. And I’ll probably keep annoying you about it if you don’t,” he muttered, awkwardly handing the jacket to her again. 

She looked like she was calculating her options. With just a hint of a sigh, she hesitantly reached for the jacket. At the same time, Jean took the box out of her hands, waiting for her to throw the article of clothing on first. After she draped it over her shoulders, he handed the box back to her.

His eyes couldn’t help but scan the petite woman wearing his jacket. The size difference between the two of them was very evident as the hem fell just above her knees. 

“Thank you,” she whispered, using a hand to wrap the jacket a bit tighter around herself. He caught her wince just a bit at the action. The tall soldier recalled that Aurelius fucker’s grip on her. He gritted his teeth.

“Your shoulder. Are you okay?” he asked her, trying to keep his voice as calm as possible.

Pieck just nodded in response.

A few more minutes passed in silence. Jean hadn’t seen anyone around for a good while. He took in his surroundings more. 

The former Survey Corps member didn’t recognize the neighbourhood he was walking through. He tried to make note of little things here and there so he would be able to make it home without getting lost.

The neighbourhood was much different than his own. It was mainly one-story cabins. He knew most people who lived in these areas weren’t well off. 

His eyes drifted towards Pieck. It made sense that she was living somewhere around here. Working at the tavern and picking up odd errand jobs could only pay so much. She had three mouths to feed and she was doing it all alone. 

Jean was so busy taking in the area that he hadn’t noticed the former Warrior had stopped walking a few steps back. He turned and awkwardly shuffled back to her, heat rushing to his face.

“Sorry. Can we talk right here?” Pieck asked him, avoiding his eyes.

They were standing in the middle of an empty dirt road. Jean didn’t know there were still roads in Stohess that hadn’t been developed yet. 

Far in the distance, he could see a colony of small cabins lined up along a large grassy terrain. There were about thirty houses in that spot. 

“Sure. Whatever is fine with you,” the tall soldier assured her. 

He noted that the expression on her face was different now. If his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him, he would say that she looked ashamed.

It took a long moment before she began to speak. 

“That day when we had returned from the...you know...us Marleyan Eldians were separated from you all. Do you remember that?” the petite woman asked him.

Jean gave her a nod even though she was still looking away. 

“The Queen told Annie and I that we had to register as Marleyan prisoners of war. But Gabi and Falco didn’t have to. She also told us that we were to stay out of trouble or we would be punished,” she relayed the scene that unfolded that day in the Royal Court.

The former Scout didn’t dare to talk. He was glad enough that he was getting an explanation of what had happened.

“Gabi and Falco are good kids. They were just raised in a fucked up world and believed they had to do something to help their families out. The same goes for me. The same goes for all of us. Now...after having witnessed our families getting crushed right under us, it appears all that suffering was for nothing,” she continued.

Jean sighed. The months he had spent in Marley, whether it was in the Eldian internment zone or the refugee zone, had shown him how much cruelty humans inflicted upon other humans. Sure, he got a taste of it here and there when he was growing up in Paradis, but his views on the matter were put in perspective when he had seen what it was like overseas. 

Jean had natural empathy for the innocent. He understood what it was like to be weak and scared. He knew the people following orders tended to be that way as well, no matter how much they tried to mask it. This was true in warfare just as much as it was true in the Survey Corps regiments.

When he had taken in Marley’s treatment of the Eldian people outside the walls, he couldn’t understand how human beings were capable of all this fuckery. 

Seeing innocents be thrown into warfare. Or becoming casualties of said warfare. Brainwashed people hating themselves because of their blood. Ratting each other out in fear. Child soldiers with a thirteen-year expiry date were expected to endure the consequences of slaughtering tens of thousands of people. It all made him sick. 

“When we were dismissed, I spoke to Annie. She was adamant that she was going to find Armin. She asked us to come with her,” Pieck looked even further down, shutting her eyes and whispering, “but I said no.” 

Jean’s eyebrows couldn’t help but raise. It wasn’t that he was shocked, really. It seemed quite fitting for the former Titan shifter to want to avoid them. He just didn’t understand why Annie hadn’t said a word to him about it.

As if she could read his mind, the Warrior explained further.

“I told Annie that I didn’t want to get involved with any of you. And I didn’t want the kids involved either. They had just been given a new chance at life and I was scared that it would be taken away from them if they didn’t lay low. After all, you guys are the hailed “heroes of Paradis”. There’s a spotlight on you all and questions would arise about where the kids came from,” she said.

Jean continued to nod at her, understanding the petite woman’s reasoning. He still couldn’t figure out why she was looking so ashamed though.

Pieck paused for a moment.

“What I said to you right now is what I repeat to myself every day. Even though...deep down I know it isn’t the entire truth. There’s a part of what happened that day that comes from my own selfishness. Every day I live with the guilt of making such a selfish decision on their behalf,” she whispered to him, her voice somewhere between horrified and numb. 

“Selfish?” the ex-CO asked her, wondering what she was talking about. To him, all he had seen today was a Pieck who was selfless. He couldn’t quite follow what she was saying.

“I kept telling myself that they were better off with me...but really I think I just didn’t want to be alone. I didn’t want Falco and Gabi separated from me. I had just lost my family and I didn’t want to lose them, too. But later on, I came to the realization that maybe I had dramatized the trouble those kids would have had to go through if they had been taken in by Armin or any of you. After all, they had a fresh start. Armin could have easily figured out a way to explain their sudden appearances. And they could have lived much better lives than the one I’m providing for them right now,” she choked out.

The emotion in her voice took Jean aback. It was the most he had heard from her today.

She had her head completely bent down now, her wavy hair falling forward to block much of her face. The man in front of her was tempted to push it back so he could see her face again, but he didn’t want to scare her away. 

“Similar to what you said about trying to double down on your fantasy life, I think I just ran away with the kids and actively stayed away from you all because I was scared of facing reality. That something would happen that may confirm my belief that I made the wrong choice that day. That I should have left the kids with Annie and stayed out of their lives forever.” 

Pieck suddenly looked up at him, perhaps to see his thoughts about all this. Jean, caught a little off guard, didn’t know how to react. He figured instead of rushing to come up with something, he should take a moment to understand her words. 

After collecting his thoughts, he took a deep breath in and out.

“I don’t think it’s mine or anyone else’s place to judge you for your decision. And I think you should also be taking other things into consideration. For starters, even though we keep calling them kids, Gabi and Falco are old enough to understand the benefits and consequences of both choices, even back then. I know you’re analytical and observant. If they really believed they would have a better life with Armin, you should have been able to pick up something like that from them. Have you?” he asked her.

He was glad he stopped talking just before he caught it. The flash of hope flicker in Pieck’s eyes. 

It made him feel awestruck, similar to what he felt when she glared at him earlier in the night. If he had kept talking he surely would have stumbled on his words.

“No. I haven’t. But I don’t exactly trust myself as an objective judge of that,” she confessed. 

“Okay, let’s put it aside for now. I have an idea on how we could figure that one out. Next question. Have you at any point in this year or so found yourself not wanting to take care of them?” Jean continued to ask.

The former Titan shifter bit her lip. He wondered if she felt any pain from it. The cut was small but it was still red enough that he could see it in the minimal lighting they got from the lamp posts.

“No,” she answered back, letting out a sigh. 

Jean knew that was the right answer even without her confirming it. He could tell she cared about Gabi and Falco so much that she seemed to have made it her life’s mission to make sure they were fine. 

“Alright. To add on to that, I don’t think there would be anyone else who would have taken care of them as well as I’m sure you have. On top of that, you were close to Reiner and Falco’s brother. Your sense of duty and motivation to make sure their loved ones are cared for far outweighs all of ours,” he stressed. 

The former Commanding Officer had forgotten he was once able to talk like this. It had been so long since anything meaningful came out of his useless mouth that even he was surprised he was talking Pieck through all of this.

The pretty woman in front of him grew silent, until eventually giving him a slight nod. Her eyes were back to the same dead eyes, but something about her expression seemed like she was more at ease now. 

“Thank you,” she whispered to him.

It was the second time she had thanked him in this short walk but Jean felt like he didn’t deserve to hear it. He hadn’t done anything close to needing a thanks from Pieck of all people.

“Uh, that’s okay. Now I have two requests that I want to make to you. I don’t know if either of them are appropriate. So I’ll apologize in advance,” he stuttered over his words. 

He felt his stomach drop as he barely caught the panic that appeared on Pieck’s face. When she took a half step back and avoided his eyes, he grew even more stressed about asking her.

“What are the requests?” she asked him after a long, unsettling moment.

“I told you that I want to help. Is there any way I can do so?” he answered, the tension in the atmosphere not letting out at all.

He wanted to help them. That was a given. But he also knew it could be insulting to Pieck for him to swoop in and try to save the day after a whole year of living in ignorance. He didn’t want her to feel like her hard work is invalidated just because Jean handed her a pouch of money.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I want to be clear with you. Everything that happened with us today is an anomaly. I filled you in on what you wanted to know. But that’s all. I don’t want Gabi and Falco getting caught up in any kind of trouble. I’m sorry...but if we get involved with you, things can get dangerous,” the Warrior explained to him as she rejected the offer.

The former Scout racked his brain to come up with something to counter her argument. Part of him knew she was right. It was a risk for all parties involved if Jean tried to help them out.

But a bigger part of him wanted to be there for them. He knew he could figure something out. He just had to think.

“At least let me help the kids financially. You said they’re starting school soon, right? I can help buy them things that they need. I’m not requesting this with the intent to offend you. Those kids were my comrades as well. I wish to help them,” the tall Scout argued back, trying his best to keep his tone in check. 

He noticed the flash of anger in her eyes. It was yet another emotion he didn’t think he would see on her today. He willed himself to ignore the way it made him feel.

That he kind of liked it, that is.

“I can’t let you do that. And even if I did, Gabi and Falco themselves won’t accept your support. As you said, they’re kids but they’re incredibly intelligent. They know how dangerous it could be. They’re just trying to forget and heal. Let them do that,” Pieck shot back at him, seemingly trying to keep her own voice level. 

Jean ran a hand through his hair, feeling frustration build in him. It felt like nothing was ever fair for him. 

Why was Pieck allowed to help them, but not him? Of course, he understood why. But it pissed him off all the same. 

After a long moment of tense silence, an idea popped into his head.

“I understand what you’re saying. And I don’t want those kids getting into trouble either. So I have a plan. Hear me out completely and then give me your answer,” he implored the petite woman.

Pieck didn’t give him a reaction. Her expression stayed the same, not giving away her thoughts either.

“You do errand work on the side right? What if I ‘hire’ you as my errand worker? That way, if we’re noticed together it’ll just be seen as you working for me. The kids will think you’re doing your regular errand work as well. And I live a good distance from the Royal court so the chances of anyone from there bumping into us is highly unlikely,” Jean began his explanation, hoping she wouldn’t interject before he finished. 

The former Cart Titan was still staring right at him, indicating at the very least that she was listening. The former Scout decided to continue. 

“It’ll also keep you from having to take jobs from assholes like that guy we met today. We can just stay indoors. Or you can go off on your own. You can take the time to rest. You can do whatever you want to do. I won’t bother you. The only thing Ineed is for you to accept the payment I give you. And to not tell the kids about it,” he went on. 

He figured that was the part that would make Pieck hesitate the most. Not being completely truthful to those kids was going to be difficult. 

Most of it was going to be the truth though. The only thing she had to omit was that _Jean_ was her ‘employer’. 

“Also, I know you’re much closer to Gabi and Falco than I am. None of you know me enough and I wouldn’t trust me very much either. But even in the short time we were allies, I grew to care for those kids. So please let me help them,” he pleaded to her, his words completely earnest.

He conveniently left out that he had also grown to care for Pieck as well. He was scared to say something that would chase her any more away from him than she already seemingly wanted to be.

The tense atmosphere remained tense as he waited for her answer. Finally, after what Jean estimated was around three minutes, the black-haired woman spoke.

“Okay,” was all she said. 

But that was enough for him. He felt warmth travel to his heart even in the cold night. 

Somehow, without even realizing it until the moment it happened, a faint smile formed on his lips. 

A _real_ smile. 

Jean couldn’t comprehend what he was feeling. Smiling genuinely for the first time in ages was much more overwhelming than he would have thought. 

“Thank you,” he whispered to her, taken aback by his own voice breaking. The Warrior glanced away from him, but he didn’t notice. He was too distracted by the feeling in his chest.

Silence filled the air between them. Surprisingly, it was Pieck who broke it again. 

“And the second request?” she asked him. The tall man blinked at her, snapping himself out of his mini daze.

Oh right. Jean took a second to collect his thoughts again before he spoke.

“Please let me see Gabi and Falco.”


	5. The Kids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hope you like it!

Pieck was finishing up the last of the cooking she needed to do before heading off. 

It was seven in the morning, an hour before her day shift began. She worked as a telephone operator at the newly built Stohess Communication Center. The former Titan shifter was one of the many Marleyan prisoners of war who were specifically hunted down to work there because they had more knowledge of newer technology. It was the reason they had to move to Stohess in the first place.

The Warrior worked there between 8AM and 4PM. It was complete hell and they were all treated poorly. The pay was shit for the level of work they were doing as well. But there was nothing she could do about that. 

After that, she would check to see if there was any errand work to pick up. On days she couldn’t find anything, she would come back and hang out with the children if they weren’t out somewhere. If they were out, she would take the time to rest. 

Most days she preferred seeing them to resting. After all, if she didn’t see them during that gap, then she wouldn’t be able to check up on how they were doing until the following morning. Of course, this excluded the panic attacks in the middle of the night. 

The former Cart Titan was feeling pretty exhausted. She had gotten back home almost half an hour later than usual thanks to the long conversation with Jean. This meant she only got to sneak in about three hours of sleep. 

Falco was already wide awake, standing next to her and quietly munching on a piece of bread. This was a typical morning for them. Gabi would be up any second as well. 

“When you have some free time, Gabi and I can show you the pond we found on our walk,” Falco said, sounding more excited than usual. 

Pieck gave him a small smile as she threw some vegetables into a pot. 

Gabi and Falco were still getting to know Stohess so on most days they would go out to explore. The petite woman trusted them enough to be able to make it home in one piece. And she wanted them to have fun before most of their free time would be consumed by school-related things. 

“Did you find anything there?” she asked him.

The blonde boy filled her in on the animals they had seen lurking around the pond. They had also run into some friendly kids from another neighbourhood and spent most of their day hanging out with them.

Gabi joined them halfway through the conversation. She was instantly angered at the sight of Pieck’s cut on her lip. The black-haired women had been doing well to hide it from Falco, but it was difficult when two of them were standing close to her. 

When she lied about the way she had gotten it, both kids fell silent. They knew it was a lie and Pieck knew that they knew. But instead of calling her out on it, the kids just let her be. It’s not like they could somehow fix things.

After cooking up their meals for the day, the three of them sat down at their small table to eat last night’s leftovers from Lazy Lassos. Mrs.Stutzel had packed her a couple of pieces of chicken, some vegetables and mashed potatoes. Pieck had to reheat it after throwing it in the icebox for the night.

Thinking of the night before, the Warrior was nervous to bring up Jean’s request to see the kids. She felt it was the best timing to do so while they were gathered right now.

“I have to tell you both something. And I’ll leave it up to you if you want to do it or not. I just need to know your answer before I leave,” she began.

The kids looked at her, more curious than anything. They probably weren’t expecting her to sound so hesitant.

“What is it, Pieck?” Gabi asked her as she pierced a piece of cauliflower onto her fork.

“At my errand job yesterday I was working an event. And I saw some of the Survey Corps people there. The ones we fought with. Armin, Mikasa, Connie and Jean,” she said, quickly looking between the two kids to read the situation.

Falco looked nervous and Gabi's face was a mix of fear and pain. 

“You did?” the brunette asked her. The young girl bowed her head down just a bit.

“Yes, I did. They didn’t cause any trouble and stayed away, which is good. Or...well most of them stayed away,” she said, biting her lip which had just started to heal.

Falco put his fork down and shifted in his seat so he could see her better. That made things difficult for Pieck. 

The blonde boy, similar to her, was very observant. He would be able to pick up on things that were running through her mind. 

“Jean Kirstein...he found me after the event. We talked and I explained why we’ve been avoiding all of them. And I told him we should keep it that way. But he, uh, well he requested something. And I thought I should leave it up to you two,” she continued.

Gabi’s head tilted back up just a bit at the mention of Jean’s name. Pieck knew that of the three of them, the young girl had liked him the most. Falco was fond of him as well. 

“Jean? What does he want?” Falco asked. He still seemed nervous. 

“He wants to see the two of you. He asked if that would be okay. I told him I would ask you two first,” the Warrior explained.

The kids looked at each other, seemingly afraid. 

“But that could get us into trouble, right? Especially you, Pieck. If those Royal people catch us with him there’s a chance we could be in trouble. But you’ll get punished for sure, right? We shouldn’t take that risk...right?” Falco hit her with question after question. Gabi was slowly nodding along with him. 

She gave them a smile, reaching over to ruffle the blonde boy’s hair. She was getting the feeling they  _ did _ want to see Jean. 

“No need to worry about me. Do you think I would let anyone hurt you two? And I’m strong. No one’s going to punish me that easily. But if you don’t want to see him that’s okay as well. If you think it’s unsafe then I’ll tell him to stay away. And I’ll make sure he does,” she promised them. 

The room was silent for a moment. Pieck turned her focus to her breakfast as the kids communicated with their eyes.

“Why does he want to see us?” Gabi asked, though it sounded more like she was talking to herself.

“I think he wants to see how you two are doing. You know...after...all that happened,” the petite woman answered, looking away from the two of them as the Rumbling was mentioned. 

It was a topic they avoided like the plague. Every now and then when it was brought up, it was a confirmed night for nightmares amongst them. 

“Why the sudden care?” Gabi whispered after a while. 

“It was us who stayed away from them, Gabi,” Falco shot back. 

The brunette sighed, her face turning from confused to sad.

“They’re all famous. Especially here. They could’ve tracked us down,” she mumbled. 

Pieck knew Gabi was just talking to herself. Saying things out loud like this was her way of thinking through stuff.

“Gabi, if Jean had suddenly tracked us down what would we have done?” the black-haired woman asked her softly. 

She caught the slight tremble in the young girl’s lower lip. She could understand what Gabi was feeling. 

There was a difference between avoiding someone who was trying to find you and avoiding someone who hadn’t even given a thought about what happened to you. 

And even without the Warrior telling them that Jean was the second case, they seemed to have caught on either way. Or perhaps the thought had always been in the back of their mind.

“We would have told him to go away. I even did that yesterday. But the only reason why I haven’t completely blocked him from seeing us is that I want to hear both your thoughts on this. If you want to see him that is completely fine with me,” Pieck assured them both.

The guilt of calling the shots for them during their last conversation with Annie was still with her. She knew for sure she was going to give them the agency to make this decision. She couldn’t make it for them. 

“I want to meet him.”

The older woman’s eyebrows rose as she turned to look at Falco. She had expected Gabi to be the first one to give an answer.

“But Falco...this is really serious. It could be dangerous,” Gabi whispered.

Pieck was interested in hearing the blonde boy’s thoughts.

“Well we’ll just meet him once and see what happens from there. I trust Jean enough. He wouldn’t risk trying to see us if he had doubts about our safety. And he’s a capable fighter if the need to fight ever arises. If we get noticed by townsfolk, we’ll leave it up to him to figure it out. The biggest risk is getting noticed by those high-level Royal people who know the truth about all of us. So we can just meet here or somewhere quiet,” he explained.

Gabi was still looking at him with wide eyes. The boy’s reasoning wasn’t wrong but there were a lot of ifs and buts that came with it. And a lot of that relied on Jean, a person they all barely knew and hadn’t seen in over a year.

The young girl turned to look at Pieck.

“Can’t you tell us what you think?” she asked the Warrior.

“My thoughts aren’t important for this particular matter. It’s between the three of you. And don’t worry. There’s no wrong answer, Gabi,” she responded back.

Gabi bit her lip. After one last look at Falco, she nodded.

“Okay. Let’s meet him.”

_____________________________________

  
  


With a bag in his hand, Jean made his way down the same route he had taken with Pieck the night before. He stopped when he got to the dirt road that they had been standing at. It was just after 4:30PM. 

The former Warrior had told him to wait there for her. She needed to finish her day job before she could come give him an answer. 

Jean thought she was amazing. She worked two permanent jobs, one full-time and one-part time. And on top of that, she picked up errand work. He didn’t know how she could do it. It put a lot into perspective for him.

The ex-CO tilted his fedora forward to hide his face more in case there was a chance of him being recognized. 

Though there wasn’t a soul in sight. 

Which made sense. The only folks who would be walking down this path were the ones who lived in those cabins he had spotted the night before.

He had a clearer view of them in the daylight. He figured Pieck and the kids lived in one of them. 

He paced around, quite nervous about what she was going to tell him. He hoped Gabi and Falco were okay with meeting him.

The pathway he had taken, and was currently standing on, led to an alleyway that took him to the main road. As he was looking around, he finally saw Pieck approaching from it.

She was wearing a white blouse and black pants, the standard worker’s uniform. Jean noted that she looked really pretty with her long black hair up in a ponytail. 

When she made it to him, he raised his eyebrows expectantly. 

“I spoke to them. They agreed to see you,” she said, giving him his answer without beating around the bush.

Jean let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Thanks,” he said to her in response, still feeling nervous. 

The petite woman walked past him, silently leading him further down the path and towards the colony of cabins he had been looking at. Jean’s anxiety grew as they made their way to the grassy terrain. 

The tall soldier knew Gabi and Falco wouldn’t take his money, especially right after their reunion. While he and Pieck were going to keep his financial help from them, he still wanted to be there for them in other ways. 

Yesterday, while his mind was still quite in shock about how things had suddenly changed for him, he couldn’t really come up with ideas.

But he spent all of today thinking of things he could do. He could keep them company while Pieck was working. Or show them around Stohess. He could also help them with school work.

Though maybe he was getting way too ahead of himself. 

Who knows. Maybe the kids were going to tell him they never wanted to see him again. 

Pieck led him past a few houses. They were all quite spread out, which was at least good for privacy. 

The one-story houses were quite small. It must be difficult for three people to live in one of them. 

Jean felt guilt seep into him as he realized his house, given to him by the Royal court as part of the hero facade, was at least four times bigger than these cabins. 

Finally, they both came to a stop in front of one. This cabin had a dark red roof, which was helpful for him to track down if need be. The majority of the roofs in this colony were bright red. The walls were made of cement and supported by logs of wood on the edges. 

They climbed up the few wooden steps and made their way to the front door on the far right side of the house. Pieck knocked on it a few times. 

“I’m not going to interfere with your meeting. But I will support the kids at the end of the day. So if that means asking you to leave, then that’s what I’ll do,” Pieck let him know. 

Jean nodded at her. He couldn’t argue with that. 

He heard the sound of a latch being moved and then the door opened to reveal Falco standing right before him. Gabi was standing a little further behind him.

Immediately, he could tell both kids had grown since the last time he had seen them. For starters Falco was much taller than he had expected. He may even be taller than Pieck now, though Jean couldn’t tell for sure. 

He did keep the same hairstyle and his face remained as calm as Jean had remembered him to be. The former Jaw Titan had even been composed in battle. He was able to quickly gain control over his Titan abilities and help keep them all safe.

At least before things went to shit.

The lack of life in his eyes wasn’t as apparent as Jean’s or Pieck’s, but it was still noticeable.

The Scout looked over at Gabi now. She had grown taller as well, but not as much as Falco had. Her hair was left down and stopped just above her shoulders. 

She, too, had just a little life present in her eyes. 

Over the time he had gotten to know her, the young girl had calmed down significantly. He remembered their first encounter, only seconds after his best friend had been shot by her. The look in Gabi’s eyes made him feel more pity for her than anything else. And then after a ton of unfortunate events and in the middle of a world ending apocalypse, the girl had begged him for forgiveness. 

Back then, he believed  _ he _ was the abnormal one for forgiving her. That there must have been something wrong with him for being able to empathize so easily with his best friend’s killer. 

But he was wrong about that. Those ignorant, self-centered people were the ones who were blind to the truth. That it was Gabi’s brainwashed upbringing and the witnessing of the deaths of her loved ones that led her down that dark path. 

Eren had also gone down the same path, but no one on this island would hold his actions accountable because it benefited them. Even at the cost of billions of innocent lives.

The key difference between Gabi and Eren was that the young girl had found a way out of the darkness. While Eren had chosen to push forward to do what he believed was necessary.

The world may be fucked up and having to live through all this may be a struggle but Jean was truly glad that Gabi had found her way out of the darkness.

“Hi, Jean,” Falco greeted him, opening the door even more so the Scout could come in.

“Hey, you two. It’s been a while huh,” he sighed, hoping they wouldn’t pick up on how nervous he was.

As he had expected, the cabin was quite small. 

Right when he entered, he found himself standing in the kitchen area. Past that, the middle section of the house was separated by dividers, with the left side being closed off completely. Jean presumed that’s where they slept. The right side had a small table and some chairs around it. This would mean the back portion of the cabin was likely the bathroom. It contained the only other door apart from the front door.

He must have been looking around for a bit too long, because Gabi finally decided to talk.

“There something you want to say?” she asked, her tone slightly defensive as if to dare him to make any kind of comment about their house. Jean was sure without a doubt that one wrong word, with the young girl especially, could land him on their bad side.

“Gabi,” Falco whispered softly to her, seemingly warning her to not speak rashly.

“What? Pieck said he wanted to talk. That’s all I was asking him,” she countered, this time with a bit more wit in her tone. That earned a small chuckle from Jean. 

He heard the door close and lock behind him. Still standing in the kitchen, he shuffled a bit awkwardly as Pieck walked through all of them and into the middle section. 

“You guys should sit and talk. I need to wash up. Do any of you want tea? I can put the kettle on the stove,” the pretty woman asked them. 

The kids turned to look at him, awaiting his response with curiosity. Fuck. He didn’t know what the right answer was. 

It was either he says yes to the tea and the kids would judge him for making Pieck do work. Or he says no and the kids would think he believed he was too good to have their tea.

Jean, living up to his self-proclaimed identity as a fucking idiot, decided to go with:

“I-I can make tea,” he sputtered out after taking way too long to answer the question.

This in turn earned a snicker out of both kids.

Knowing he was turning red, the tall soldier glanced at Pieck, who let out a hint of a smile as she looked at the kids.

Whoa. It was his first time ever seeing her smile. And even if it was a fraction of what her real smile would be, it still filled him up with some warmth. 

Or at least even more warmth than the flush on his cheeks was providing him.

“It’s fine. I can do it,” the Warrior said, starting to shuffle back to the kitchen.

“Leave it to us, Pieck. You go wash up,” Falco stopped her.

With a nod, the petite woman turned and walked behind the divider and into the closed off section. Jean watched her go and little did he know every action of his was being observed by a particular young girl.

“Ahem. What are you looking at Mr. Jean?” Gabi asked him, snapping his attention back to the small brunette.

Falco looked like he had given up on trying to hold her back. Or maybe he felt like this attitude towards Jean was deserved.

The blonde boy made his way over to the kitchen and started filling the copper kettle up with water. 

“I asked you a question, Mr. Jean,” the kid in front of him mumbled, tapping on his arm.

“Hey kid, if you call me Mr. Jean one more time, I’m going to leave,” he playfully threatened her.

He wanted to jump out the window at the lack of reaction to the statement. These fucking kids were just on a mission to hurt his pride. 

At least he was able to see that they still had some life in them. That was worth the humiliation.

The sound of footsteps distracted him once again and he whipped his head back to watch as Pieck made her way over to the door in the back.

“Ahem,” both kids cleared their throats now. Jean’s sorry soul accidentally made eye contact with Falco and he knew he was doomed.

Because the kid was definitely looking at him like he was out of his mind and if one of the most calm-headed people he knew was giving him that look then there might really be something wrong with him.

What even was the matter? He was just  _ looking _ at Pieck. What was their problem?

Their reunion had just begun but he felt like he lost complete control of the situation already.

“If you brought whatever that is in your hand to bribe us into talking to you then you should probably hand it over. Because you really suck at this,” Gabi muttered, eyeing the bag he had been clutching onto. Falco nodded, siding with the young girl.

Jean knew one thing for sure. He was going to stuff his face with at least half the chocolate bars he had bought for them if they didn’t stop attacking him. 


	6. Important

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Enjoy!

After making the tea, the three of them eventually got settled at the table. Jean passed the kids their chocolate bars and they went to town on them. He wondered how long it had been since they had chocolate. 

When they had gotten a few bars in, and “kindly” offered some to their former comrade, they all fell silent for a long moment. 

Jean watched as Gabi and Falco had a mini conversation with their eyes, most likely signalling the other to talk first. The older man decided he could fix that problem.

“So...how have you two been?” he asked, quite amused at how startled they looked when he spoke.

The room fell silent again and the mood shifted. The tall Scout wasn’t quite ready for it. 

“What’s it to you?” Gabi eventually whispered at him. He noticed her tone was more sad than anything else.

“I’m sorry. I know it took me this long to visit you both. I should have been there for you guys from the beginning,” Jean apologized, guilt rising up in him again.

“No one asked you to be there for us. You barely even know us,” Falco sighed. He was looking back and forth between the Scout and his friend.

The blonde boy seemed like he was trying to clock Gabi’s thoughts on this more than anything else.

“Even if I don’t know you two that well, you’re still my comrades. So is Pieck. So I want to at least be a part of your lives,” the older man stated.

“It might be easy for you to get involved with us but did you even consider how dangerous this could be? Especially for Pieck. Did she not tell you everything?” Gabi argued back quickly.

Jean decided to stop and think for a moment. Just blurting out a half-assed excuse wasn’t going to cut it. When it came down to it, the worst case scenario here may still be death. Maybe not the kids’ deaths, but something happening to Pieck was definitely in the realm of possibilities.

It was all so stupid. None of them were of any harm to Paradis. What could they ever do?

“Pieck explained everything to me. I know you both may be feeling scared that I’m sitting here in front of you right now. And it is incredibly selfish of me to do so, especially considering a year has passed and today is the first time I came to see you,” Jean began.

The Scout watched their expressions change from worried back to sad.

“With all that said, I need you two to trust me on this. I’ll never let anyone hurt any of you. And if any kind of trouble arises from this, I’ll handle it. I’ll make sure you’re all safe. There are only a handful of those Royal idiots who know the truth. If they ever come for you, I’ll be here. And I know my friends will be here, too. And that includes the Queen. I can explain things to her. So please put some faith in me,” he said, hoping his assurance could reach them.

Even If they hadn’t completely bought into it, they at least looked a little less tense. Communicating with their eyes again, both kids took some time to respond to the older man. Eventually, Falco spoke. 

“The way we’re living right now keeps Pieck out of trouble. _We_ have fresh starts, but _she_ doesn’t. And if having a relationship with you means there’s a possibility that she’ll get hurt, we don’t want to do this. She’s worked so hard for us. She even gets hurt for us. We can’t let anything worse happen to her,” Falco explained.

Jean nodded, understanding where the kids were coming from. The entire situation was complicated. The only thing that was giving him relief was that Pieck had agreed to the first request.

“Okay, before we continue talking about this I’m going to ask you something I’m genuinely curious about. If there weren’t any possible consequences, would you two want to spend time with me?” he questioned them.

The kids looked conflicted on how to answer him.

“Yeah, probably. I mean it’s not like we don’t want to hang out with you. We just don’t want to cause trouble,” Gabi replied. 

“Pieck told me she won’t interfere with our discussion. But if it would make you feel more at ease, should we try asking _her_ how she feels about me coming to see you both?” the Scout asked them. 

After a moment of thought, Gabi gave him a shrug. 

“Alright. Until then, let’s just talk about what’s going on with you guys. Pieck told me you’ve only been in Stohess for a couple of months. There must be a lot you want to see,” he figured.

“We go explore around the outskirts of our neighbourhood but we haven’t gone too far,” Falco explained.

Both began telling him stories about their adventures. They seemed to have hung out more on the yet to be developed side of Stohess as opposed to the city areas. 

Jean smiled at the little bit of excitement he could see in the kids’ eyes as they talked about exploring. 

They also told him about the school they were going to attend. It was called North Stohess Public School and was about a fifteen minute walk from where they lived. Falco told him they had already met some kids that they were going to be classmates with. And also that outside of the house they were known as Ben and Mia.

The tall soldier listened to them intently. Part of him was envious at the childlike wonder they still had. Jean didn’t know if he could ever feel something like that again. 

Eventually, he was distracted by the back door creaking open. As he had been sitting in the seat facing said door, he couldn’t help but glance up as Pieck emerged from it. The scent of lavender immediately filled the room.

The petite woman was now dressed in a pleated beige skirt and a dark brown long sleeve dress shirt. His eyes couldn’t help but stare at her pretty black hair that had been left down again. 

As she walked towards the closed-off room and behind the divider, her steps were light and graceful. He couldn’t even hear them.

“Ahem,” Falco whispered, trying to get the older man’s attention again.

Oh fuck. Not again.

“I’m onto you Mr. Jean Kirstein,” Gabi whispered as well, narrowing her eyes at him. 

“What do you mean?” he whispered back, rolling his eyes at the brats.

Falco and Gabi decided to do their little telepathic communication thing again. So the ex-CO waited patiently, helping himself to some of their chocolate and earning two sets of narrowed eyes at him now.

He was going to fight them. 

No. They’re just kids, idiot. 

He was still going to fight them. What was wrong with him looking at Pieck?

“Before we call Pieck here, you need to understand one thing. Even if she says she’s okay with us meeting you, if you somehow directly cause trouble for her we’ll destroy you,” Gabi whisper-threatened him. And Falco nodded in agreement with her. 

Jean raised his eyebrows at the kids. 

Getting threatened by regular thirteen year olds was one thing. Getting threatened by two military trained thirteen year olds was a whole other thing. 

And he could tell they were serious about it. 

Part of him was actually scared. Not so much at the kids, but at the prospect of somehow getting Pieck into trouble. Or maybe even unintentionally being a cause of pain for her. 

Another part of him felt a little glad at how protective the kids were being of her. Even though it was a pain in the ass, the thought of Gabi and Falco being adamant about reducing trouble for the former Warrior was wholesome. 

And Pieck was obviously doing the same for them. 

Jean wondered if perhaps it _would_ be better to keep himself as distant as possible from them. Maybe just the first request being fulfilled was fine. Keeping up a relationship with these kids would be nice, but maybe it wasn’t worth the cost.

“Pieck! Can you come here?” Gabi called out, startling the brown-haired man out of his thoughts.

Only one way to figure things out.  
  


_____________________________________

  
  
  


At the sound of Gabi’s call, the petite woman shuffled behind the divider and over to the kids. She already knew what they were calling her for.

The walls in the house weren’t thick- well they really only had one wall but either way- so Pieck couldn’t help but hear the beginning of the kids’ conversation with Jean.

For a moment, standing behind the bathroom door, her heart felt full at the care and concern of those kids. And then quickly, that feeling turned into shame.

Shame at herself, to be clear. 

There she was. Feeling happy at the kids’ willingness to give up something that would make them happy in order to protect her. 

They were kids. They shouldn’t be worried about things like this, no matter how mature they were for their age. 

And then she felt like she was about to cry. Pieck hadn’t actually cried since the Rumbling. When she left the Royal court with the kids, she had decided to keep her emotions repressed and instead hardened her resolve to raise Gabi and Falco well. 

She still couldn’t cry. She didn’t have the time to do so. If she let her emotions get to her, it could end up affecting the kids in some way. 

And that meant she also couldn’t be scared. 

Fuck it. If the kids wanted to see Jean, then they should see him. She could hear from their excited voices that they liked talking to him. 

And if all of this somehow got her into trouble, she’ll put up with it. It was worth seeing them happy and full of life. Hope was pretty much lost for her, but it definitely wasn’t lost for them. 

Plus the tall Scout seemed like a good role model for them. He could probably help them much more than she could when it came to certain things. 

As she came to a halt between Gabi and Falco’s chairs, she noted their expressions. She could see how much they were trying to mask that little hope they had in them. 

“Yes?” she asked the young girl. 

The brunette looked like she was hesitating on how to ask the question. Jean was crossing his arms, waiting patiently with everyone else for Gabi to speak. 

“We were just thinking...I know you said you want to stay out of it but can you please tell us what you’re thinking...about all this,” she finally asked, looking up at Pieck like she was pleading with her to give them an answer. Falco’s expression was similar.

They were too good to be putting up with the tragic life that she led. She wasn’t going to keep them from anything that would make them happy.

“I’m okay with it,” she answered bluntly, earning a shocked look from everyone at the table. Falco gripped onto her hand.

“But-But Pieck. You can get h-”

“I told you this morning, didn’t I? I’m strong. Nothing is going to happen to me and I’ll die before I let anything happen to you two. So yes, I’m fine with Jean being here and spending time with you both. And I’ll be fine if you want to continue spending time with him. I actually think it’s a good idea. So you two shouldn’t think so hard about it. If you want to do it, then just do it. You have the freedom to choose who you want to spend your time with,” she said, reaching up to pat both their heads reassuringly.

She could see the worry in their eyes as they looked at her. But she could still see the hope in them as well. That was all she needed. 

“Pieck. I really don’t know what to say. Thank you,” Jean whispered from across the table. He shut his eyes and bowed his head at her in gratitude. 

The handsome Scout really didn’t have to do that. She just wanted the kids to be happy. And he seemed to make them happy. So why be the reason for their separation?

“Pieck, are you sure?” Falco asked her.

Both kids still seemed hesitant. 

“Yes I am,” she assured them, hoping they could hear how serious she was. 

The young brunette in front of her sighed and whipped her head over to the tall man sitting in front of her. 

“Okay. Then I’m fine with you coming to see us,” Gabi mumbled at him. Jean gave her a smile.

His smile was interesting. She could see the pain behind it. But she had the feeling it was still genuine. 

“Same here,” Falco said to him, shooting his own small smile at the Scout. 

“Alright, I’ll leave you three to talk. I’ll be getting some rest. Call me when you feel like eating,” the Warrior said. 

Just as she took a few steps away from the kids, and in the direction of the bedroom, Jean called on her.

“Pieck, one second. Do you remember what we discussed last night?”

The former Cart Titan turned to face him, quite confused on what he was talking about. Surely, it wasn’t about their financial arrangement...right? He couldn’t be that stupid. 

When both kids turned to look at Pieck, she in turn caught the sudden wink the man in front of her gave her. 

She didn’t know what to make of it. What she _did_ know was that the action had taken her so aback that her heart felt like it was starting to beat faster than usual. 

No way. She must be mistaken.

“Pieck and I were talking about the possibility that you both might want to live with me,” the Scout said, trying his best to hide the mischievous look on his face as the kids turned back to him. 

“What! Are you crazy? We won’t do that!” Gabi immediately shot back, looking in shock between the two adults. 

“What do you mean, Jean!?” Falco asked him, both confused and equally as shocked as the brunette was.

The Warrior watched as Jean dramatically sighed and shrugged his shoulders. She wasn’t quite able to figure out what he was intending to do but she could tell this was an act.

“Well, I live in a big house with lots of rooms. Pieck and I were wondering if you’d like to come live there instead.” he said, giving them a little smirk.

“What! No way! We’re not leaving this place. We like this house. The people around us are nice. And Pieck works hard to make sure we live well,” the blonde boy explained, also immediately shooting down the idea.

Gabi fiercely nodded along with him. 

“Yeah! We don’t need your big house. We’re happy here. So don’t ever suggest that to us!” she added, gritting her teeth as she spoke. 

“Pieck?! You really discussed something like this with Jean? Do you think we’re too much for you?” Falco asked her. 

Before the Warrior was able to say no, Jean chuckled.

“Sorry, you two. What I said just now was a lie. I just wanted to test something out. And it seems my theory was proven right,” he said, turning around to raise his smug eyebrows at the petite woman. 

Pieck didn’t know how she didn’t catch onto his plan right from the beginning. Ah, now it all made sense. 

“Pieck was feeling bad about taking you both away from us. And she was thinking that maybe the Scouts could have been better caregivers for you two. So I just said that to see what you two would respond with,” the tall soldier explained to the kids, though he still kept his eyes on her, likely trying to read her thoughts. 

“What?” Gabi gasped, looking at Jean like everything coming out of his mouth was crazy.

“I know right. I don’t know why she would think this way either. But you two have now confirmed how you feel about living here. So, Pieck. You have to stop feeling bad. Look at these kids. They immediately refused and they looked completely hurt at the idea of having to move away from here. Doesn’t that tell you everything?” the Scout asked her, his tone completely serious. 

She felt her hands tremble at the reassurance he had just given her. In just a few seconds, he had cleared up a big worry of hers. Something that kept her up on some nights. 

All just one day after their reunion. 

“We’re happy here, Pieck. You go above and beyond for us and _we_ don’t deserve it. If anything, we’re the selfish ones for taking advantage of your effort,” Falco stressed to her. 

Pieck’s eyes widened at the boy’s self-accusation. 

No. They should never be thinking that. 

“Don’t say that. You’re wron-”

“Then you’re wrong, too! If we’re not selfish, then you’re not selfish either!” Gabi quickly shot back at the petite woman. Her expression softened as she looked at the Warrior, whose cut bottom lip unexpectedly quivered. 

The brunette hopped out of her chair and gently wrapped her arms around Pieck, who was now noticeably trembling. Falco joined them, throwing his arms around the two of them. 

“Please don’t ever think you’re not doing enough for us, Pieck. We couldn’t ever do this without you,” Falco whispered to her.

And just like that, to her complete astonishment, a tear dropped from her eye. After a whole year of holding it all back, it seemed she just couldn’t keep this one from falling.

Jean stood up as well now, with a small smile on his face. As he walked up to them, his eyes fell on the tear that was slowly trickling down her cheek.

Similar to the night before, his hand reached towards her face. The difference was that last night he himself seemed confused about what he was doing. This time he was slightly more hesitant, but also very determined. 

His eyes looked like they were silently asking her if it was okay. Pieck didn’t know why she didn’t refuse him this time either.

Her eyes stared up into his light brown ones as she felt the pad of his thumb run across her cheek, gently wiping the tear away. 

There was no denying it this time. _That_ definitely made her heart race. 

Daringly keeping his hand rested on her cheek, he spoke.

“See, Pieck. You’re important,” he affirmed, whispering so quietly to her, she wondered if the kids could hear him. 

It took Pieck all her strength to keep calm and not react. 

What the hell was wrong with her?

The man in front of her was making her feel too many different things at once. For someone who really hadn’t _felt_ anything for a long time, it was all very overwhelming.

Unintentionally or not, her lips curled up to give Jean a faint smile. 


	7. Vanilla

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hope you like it! Writing this fic has been so fun for me :)

Pieck made her way out of the Stohess Communication Center after finishing her shift. She was clutching onto her work bag with all the strength she had. 

Barely able to keep her eyes open, the Warrior had to splash some water on her face before she left to meet up with Jean.

He told her he would join up with her a few blocks down from her workplace, just in case someone recognizes him. He apparently lived in one of the newer neighbourhoods built along with the construction of the Communication Center. 

The night before, when Pieck was on her way to her night shift, Jean accompanied her until they had to part ways. The kids told him to come back whenever he felt like it and he claimed he would visit so often that they’d get sick of him. 

As the former Cart Titan made her way along the nicely developed roads in central Stohess, she felt relieved she was able to walk so freely. 

Back in Marley, all Eldians had to wear an armband that branded them as monsters to the rest of humanity. At least here they weren’t required to wear anything like that. They were only expected to disclose their POW status when asked by employers and high military officials. 

“Hey, Pieck,” a voice called out to her.

She whipped her head to the side and found Jean leaning against a building a few meters away, his fedora covering much of his face. She would have completely missed him if he hadn’t called out to her.

“Oh. Hello,” she said, as he straightened up and made his way over to her. The Warrior noted that a recurring theme with this young man was that he always dressed well. 

He was wearing black dress pants and an off-white sweater that looked expensive. And there was a black coat hung over his arm. For how chilly the weather was, she was surprised he wasn’t wearing it. 

“Is there anywhere you need to go today?” he asked her. Pieck could tell he was a little nervous. Part of it must have had to do with her being so rigid. 

As if to prove her point, she just gave the man a simple shake of her head to let him know she didn’t have plans.

“Oh...okay. So maybe I could show you where I live?” he suggested. This time he received a nod from her.

He told her he lived not even ten minutes away from her workplace so she figured they were already close by.

As they began their journey, Pieck felt a little bad for being so silent. The tall man was also keeping a slightly awkward distance from her. Not far enough for them to seem like strangers, but not close enough for them to seem like friends. 

Actually that really was quite fitting for them. 

“Are you not cold?” she decided to ask, still staring forward at the road ahead of her.

There was a long pause. The petite woman was tempted to check to see if he had even heard her. 

“Sorry. I can’t tell if I was just hearing things. Did you, uh, ask me a question?” Jean asked her. 

Pieck cleared her throat and peeked up at the man next to her.

“I just asked if you were cold,” she repeated.

“Oh. No, I don’t get cold very easily. This weather doesn’t really bother me,” the Scout answered. 

The former Cart Titan could hear the shrug in his voice. She eyed the coat resting over his arm. But then why..?

“Are you cold? I brought this in case,” he mumbled softly, extending his arm just a bit closer to her. 

Uh oh. There it was again. That feeling from the night before. 

Pieck was convinced she was just feeling that way because she hadn’t had anyone to care for her in over a year. Yes, the kids cared about her. And they took care of the house just as much as she did. 

But this was a different kind of care. There was another layer to it that kind of scared her. It was similar to…

She felt a pang in her chest as she remembered Porco. 

“No, I’m fine. Thank you,” she responded, giving him a slight wave of her hand.

They silently walked for a few more blocks, with Jean leading the way. Pieck tried to note her surroundings so she wouldn’t get lost. She noticed the houses were getting larger and were further spread apart the more they went on. 

After a few more minutes, they finally came to a stop in front of a large house. The neighbouring houses were at least thirty meters away from it. 

“This is me,” the tall soldier sighed. He tiptoed to reach over the large metal gate out front and unlock a clasp from the inside. Through the bars of the gate, the Warrior checked out his front yard.

He didn’t have any landscaping done so the grassy area was plain, though it was still well maintained. He didn’t appear to have anything on his front porch either. But at least it looked clean.

Swinging the gate open and allowing her to enter first, the Scout seemed to be trying his best to not look ashamed. Pieck could see it, though. And while it confused her, the look wasn’t unfamiliar on the man’s face. 

She wondered just how much he was ashamed about, for it to be quite a regular look on him. 

She wasn’t any better though. Out of her few expressions, shame was a constant for her as well.

As he led her to the porch and up to the front door, she took some time to look at Jean from behind. His height, broad shoulders and large frame were all slightly intimidating. And though she trusted him enough to be alone with him in his house, the warning sirens couldn’t help but go off in her head. 

Yes, she was a capable fighter. But so was he. 

Pieck quickly shook the thought out of her head. Jean had assured her that “working” for him was also to help keep her away from the actual people who would hurt her. 

She started to feel a bit guilty for entertaining the possibility that the Scout could hurt her.

Ah, see. Shame truly was a constant. 

The former Commanding Officer opened the large white front door, again allowing her to enter first.

The Warrior stepped in and the first thing to strike her senses was the scent of the house. It smelled like vanilla. 

Of course, immediately after that observation, she took in the size of the house. On her left, through an open entrance, she could see a large living room. In the middle of the foyer was a set of stairs leading to the second floor. Past the staircase, a hallway led to another open entrance, though she couldn’t see what it was. She would assume it was the kitchen. On her right, next to the shoe closet, there was an office. She could see it due to the large window on the office’s door. Next to that door was another, though this one lacked any windows. Bathroom, perhaps. 

Sensing that she had been staring at the house for much longer than she had planned to, the former Cart Titan shuffled further in and removed her black work shoes, placing them on the shoe rack next to the closet. There were four pairs of shoes already on the rack, all for different occasions. And all of them looked expensive. 

She watched as Jean closed the door shut behind them and locked it, before turning to look at her. 

“Should I show you around? Or is there anything you need to do? Or anything you need?” he started to ask question after question as he removed his own shoes. 

“Bathroom. I’d like to change,” she requested, holding up the bag in her hand just a little bit. 

The Scout opened the closet door and reached in for a coat hanger.

“Of course. It’s that door on the far right,” he answered, nodding his head towards it. He hung up the coat he had brought just for her as she began walking towards the bathroom.

As she strolled through the hallway, the room in the back became more visible. She caught a glimpse of a dining table and a couch. 

Entering the bathroom, she was struck by how clean it was. She had the feeling she might be the most filthy thing in the entire house. 

Immediately removing the elastic holding her wavy hair up, Pieck got to work, changing out of her work uniform and throwing on the familiar black dress with the white collars. 

When she stepped out of the bathroom, the tall man called for her.

“Over here,” he said, his voice coming from the back entrance. The Warrior stepped into it and found Jean standing in a large kitchen on the far left, carrying a glass jug in his hand. 

The room in the back was split in three sections. There was the kitchen on the left, the dining room in the middle and a smaller living room on the right. 

Everything was neat and orderly, but it seemed a bit too clean. Almost as if there was no life in the house. Even her cabin with the kids had random stuff around to make it at least feel like a home. Gabi liked collecting stuff on their adventures and Falco would save up to buy books every now and then. 

Yet Jean, with all the space given to him, did not have anything around to indicate that this was his house. A random stranger could walk in and claim the house was theirs and people would believe it. 

As she looked back over at the man, Pieck didn’t know what to do. She awkwardly shuffled over to him, though she had no idea why.

He met her halfway, and they found themselves standing next to the rectangular dining table. There were glasses lined up in the middle of it. Jean reached over to grab two of them. 

“Here,” he said, pouring water into a glass and handing it to her. Her breath couldn’t help but hitch as their fingers grazed each other. It was their first physical contact since the night before when the Scout brushed the tear off her cheek. 

Pieck hated to admit that the moment replayed in her mind much more than she would have liked it to.

She caught his eyes lingering on her dress as she fiddled with the glass in her hands.

“You know you don’t have to wear that uniform in here, right?” Jean asked her. 

“I think I should wear it...just in case. Someone may come visit you unexpectedly,” she explained to him. 

The tall soldier nodded at her. He gestured for her to sit down as he took a seat at the table himself. The Warrior did so, though quite hesitantly.

Oh well. It was her fault for not having figured out what she wanted to do. 

She wasn’t prepared at all for this situation. In the past year, she never had the luxury of free time. Now that she was given it, she felt overwhelmed about what to do with it.

“Like I said before, you can do whatever you want to do. If you want to rest, that’s okay. If I’m here, you can talk to me. Some days I’ll be out, though. You can help yourself to anything in the fridge and feel free to use the kitchen. I’ll show you around this place in a bit. Just so you know where things are. You can also leave whenever you want. Or choose not to come. I’d appreciate it if you let me know the day before, though,” he said. 

Pieck could only nod every now and then to indicate she was listening. The handsome man in front of her was almost stumbling on his words as he tried his best to keep her feeling as comfortable as possible.

“Also...you must have noticed that the house is quite large. That being said, you’ll only really find me in this area or in my bedroom. Not, uh, not that I’m asking you to find me in my bedroom. N-Not that it’s _not_ okay to find me in my bedroom. You just need to give the door a knock, that’s all,” he continued, trying his hardest to keep himself from digging a bigger grave. 

“Okay,” she replied back, trying to lend him a helping hand in ending his rambling.

The room fell silent. The air around her felt still. Sitting with him in this big house made her realize how quiet everything was. At least she was always surrounded by the sound of nature and life. Here everything was still. 

Or in other words, dead.

Both former comrades took some time to sip on their water. The Warrior could taste how clean the water was. Although she lived only a few kilometers away from Jean, the difference in their living situation was evident.

“Your house is nice,” she said softly, earning a startled look from the man. He looked like that every time she chose to talk first.

“Thanks. But I don’t really live in it,” he said, sighing. 

The former Titan shifter twisted the glass in her hands.

“Hmm?” she asked, though she pretty much understood what he was getting at.

“Well, there really isn’t any life in here. Maybe if my mom was living here, I can find an attachment to this place. But right now, this is more like a glorified prison to me,” he explained.

She watched as Jean’s expression changed from sadness to shame. 

“Sorry. You must think I’m a brat for complaining about all this,” he whispered. 

She really wasn’t thinking that. To be very honest, she had actually been distracted by his face. Sitting down this close to him gave her a chance to properly look at him in good lighting. 

And though the horrors of the Rumbling were still well reflected on his face, especially in his eyes, he was still very handsome. His kind face reflected his kind nature as well. 

Danger.

The Warrior knew it was incredibly dangerous to be thinking these thoughts right now. In another world, she may have indulged some of the tempting thoughts that couldn’t help but stew in her mind. 

She couldn’t do that in this world though. As nice and good looking as he was, Jean was still someone who could bring danger to her and the kids. They all had to be careful and Pieck had to be the _most_ careful. 

She suddenly dearly missed her friends. With all of them dead, and the kids as the only permanent company in her life, the young woman had no adults to interact with. 

At least until now. But the Scout wasn’t exactly someone she would feel comfortable discussing _adult_ things with. That, again, could lead to danger.

So what do they talk about?

“Where’s your mom?” she chose to ask him, receiving that startled look again from him.

“She lives in Trost. She’s comfortable there. I visit every now and then. Though all I do is make her worry whenever she sees me,” he sighed. 

Pieck hummed in response, taking another sip of the cold water. 

She realized quickly that she was feeling envious of the tall soldier for at least having a parent. It made her feel bad. It wasn’t Jean’s fault his mom was alive and her dad was dead. 

“I’ll show you around this place and then get out of your way. I have to step out to do some ‘hero of Paradis’ work,” he said, standing up again and giving her a gentle smile. 

So Jean led her around the house. He had a basement, but it was pretty much empty, save for a couple of boxes of unpacked or old items. After showing her around his kitchen, he took her to his office. He told her he only used it occasionally and she could feel free to use it if she wanted to. There was a telephone in there, which was a rare item to have in most homes in Paradis. 

Then he led her to the other living room that was probably just as big as the entire room in the back. The room was beautifully designed and decorated, filled with furniture fitting for large get-togethers. But, like all the other rooms in his house, it did not look like it had been used much, if not at all. 

He led her up the stairs where there were five sets of doors. One led to a large bathroom that looked even more modern than the ones Pieck had seen in Marley. Paradis seemed to have caught up very quickly to what the rest of the world was once at. 

Though most of the tour had been Jean awkward mumbling little things about each room he had shown her, and Pieck nodding along, something suddenly prompted her to talk first again.

“Vanilla?” she asked, as the sweet scent struck her senses again.

She felt slightly embarrassed for asking the sudden random question. And judging by the look on Jean’s face, he seemed a little flustered about it too.

“Oh, I didn’t know it was that strong. Yeah, I have candles around the house that I usually light at night. I guess I’m immune to much of the scent now. Vanilla just reminds me of home,” he explained, giving her a nervous chuckle. 

Pieck nodded again, not knowing what to say to that. Though she did prefer the vanilla scent over his expensive cologne. It oddly seemed more fitting for the Scout.

They walked along the second floor and past a few more doors.

“These three rooms aren’t being used. They’re guest rooms, I guess. Feel free to use one if you want to. And finally...this one is mine,” he said, smacking his hand on his door handle and immediately freezing on the spot. 

They both stood there in front of the closed door, not knowing what to do. The Warrior didn’t know where to look. She figured the tall man in front of her was going through an entire dialogue in his own head about whether or not he should open the door.

Something about this moment made her feel comfortable and anxious at the same time. She pushed all of her thoughts to the back of her mind when Jean let go of the handle. The Scout chose instead to nervously run his hand through his ash-brown locks and step away from the white wooden door.

Okay, guess she wasn’t going to see his room. 

“If I’m not downstairs, I’ll be in here. So you can just knock if you need me,” he said, as he began walking back towards the stairs. 

Pieck had been distracted as she followed his steps, not noticing the ex-CO had suddenly stopped walking and turned around. The petite woman bumped into him, her head smacking the middle of his chest. She jumped back at the same time he did.

“Sorry! I shouldn’t have turned so abruptly. Are you okay?” the Scout asked her. The concern in his voice scared her. It made her feel cared for.

Danger.

Also, why was he so warm?

Danger.

“It’s okay. I didn’t watch where I was going either,” she explained, shifting her eyes away from him. 

“I, uh, I wanted to tell you something. Actually, I should have said it last night when we were walking,” Jean mumbled, biting his lip. 

The former Cart Titan tilted her head just a bit, wondering what it was about.

“I just want to thank you again for being okay with me seeing the kids. And I want you to know that, like you, I’ll die before I let anything happen to Gabi and Falco,” he said. The seriousness on his face matched the seriousness in his tone.

She nodded at him just as a thought popped into her mind. 

“I need you to promise me something, Jean,” she asked him, looking the tall man dead in the eye. 

“What is it?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at her and crossing his arms.

Pieck bit her lip, immediately breaking the eye contact that she had been hoping she would maintain. 

“If I die, you have to look after Gabi and Falco. I need you to promise me they’ll be safe and cared for,” she told him, not caring if she was coming off as demanding.

“Nothing’s going to happen to you. Don’t say shit like that,” Jean immediately dismissed the idea. 

She could hear the frustration in his voice. The Scout actually looked quite angry. His eyebrows were furrowed and the frown on his face turned into a scowl. 

And whoa, was he glaring at her? He had never looked at her like this. It reminded her of how he looked when Reiner was, intentionally or not, provoking him into a confrontation. 

“I could die so-”

“It won’t happen. That’s that. I’m not making that bullshit promise to you. You’re not getting the easy way out of this. You _have to_ survive. And if not for yourself, then at least for those kids,” he demanded. 

Pieck could see in his eyes that he was trying to calm himself down.

“But you just said you would die for them, too,” she argued back, calling out the hypocritical man.

“Yeah, but I can tell from your tone that the way _you’re_ saying it and the way _I’m_ saying it is different. You sound like you’ve already given up. Yes, I’ll die for those kids but only if the situation comes down to that. Until then, we survive. Stop thinking about death,” he snapped at her. 

With both of them falling silent for a moment, she watched as Jean’s eyes widened just a bit. He took a big step back and Pieck wondered when in their argument he had gotten so close to her. 

The tall soldier cleared his throat.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to raise my voice at you. But please don’t say that again. Me being in the picture now shouldn’t obstruct your will to keep yourself alive, even if it’s just for those kids,” he muttered, turning away from her and making his way down the stairs again.

Pieck watched him go, feeling very much scolded at. She wondered if her face had turned red. 

Either way, Jean was right. She couldn’t use him as a reason for being okay with dying now. And she shouldn’t be letting go of her will to survive just because he was here.

What she said must have insulted him enough to make him snap at her like that. It wasn’t something that would only make _her_ feel guilty. Her saying stuff like this was just another addition on his list of potential problems he could bring about by coming back into their lives. 

The Warrior walked down the stairs after thinking to herself for a few minutes, trying to find the right words for an apology. 

She found Jean in the kitchen, stirring a ladle in a medium-sized pot. When he heard her footsteps approach him, he gave her a quick glance before turning back towards the pot. Pieck came to a halt about a meter away from him. 

“I’m just reheating the soup I made earlier fo-”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you that. I don’t know what got into me. I shouldn’t be using you as a reason to be okay with death. _I_ want to survive, too. I want to see what becomes of those kids. So yes. I won’t die,” she affirmed to the tall soldier. 

Standing in the huge kitchen with him made the former Titan shifter feel tiny. 

The Scout turned and blinked at her, seemingly taken aback by the apology. He then gave her a small smile. 

“Don’t worry about it. Are you hungry? This will only take a few minutes to heat up,” he said, gesturing to the soup. 

“Oh, no thank you. You don’t need to give me food,” she quickly replied, rejecting Jean’s offering.

It did smell good though. The Warrior was trying to figure out what kind of meat was in it. It was either beef or pork.

“You don’t need to eat now. But there’s more than enough so eat before you head out for work,” he told her, ignoring her refusal. 

Tch. So much for letting her do whatever she wanted. 

“Also that reminds me. Here you go,” Jean said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a key. 

He handed it to her and looked pretty amused at her confusion.

“It’s a spare key to this house. There will be times I won’t be here when you arrive or I’ll be out when you leave so use it to lock or unlock the door. I’ll be heading out in a moment so you’re going to need it. Also I won’t keep the latch on for the front gate either. Unless you’re a good climber or jumper,” he chuckled, turning back to continue cooking.

Pieck wanted to ask him if that last comment was directed at her height. She wondered if that was the first time he had joked around with her. 

“Okay,” she replied, awkwardly fidgeting with the metal key in her hand.

Now what? What was she supposed to do with all this free time given to her?

Not wanting to just stand and watch the Scout, she shuffled towards the dining table and then over to the small living room area. There was a long black couch and two black one-seater couches surrounding a white square table. Other than a clock hanging on the wall, there was nothing else in this section. 

Pieck decided to sit down on the long couch. Maybe she could spend today thinking about what she wanted to do. 

She was nervous. All her life she was never given the ability to do something for herself. She became a Warrior for her father and up till now she’d only been living and working for the kids.

Oh well, she was bound to figure something out.

The former Titan shifter didn’t realize she was sinking further into the couch. That, paired with how tired she was feeling, compelled Pieck into closing her heavy eyes.

Just for a bit, she told herself. 

\--

The petite woman was sure she was dreaming. 

She was back at home in the Eldian internment zone, sleeping in her childhood bed. 

“Pieck?” someone whispered to her.

Who was there? It was a man’s voice. And it definitely wasn’t her father.

“Pieck. Here. You should take these,” the whispering voice continued to talk.

What a pleasant voice. It made her want to fall even more into her dream state.

“Pieck,” the voice called out to her again.

“Hmm?” she answered, hoping she could put a face to the person speaking to her.

“Is it alright if I place this under you?” he asked, softly.

Place what, she wondered. Though she really didn’t care.

“Okay,” she mumbled, still quite frustrated that she couldn’t see the mystery man in her dream. 

How was he able to find her?

Someone was gently cradling her head, lifting it just a bit off of her bed. A moment later, it was sinking into something soft. She didn’t remember her bed ever being this comfortable.

As she felt something cover her body Pieck drifted further into sleep, wondering where the man had gone. He wasn’t speaking to her anymore. 

That was too bad.

As she sunk deeper, she thought she smelled vanilla.

\--

The Warrior snapped her eyes open. In a slight panic, they drifted to the clock on the wall. 

She let out a sigh. It was only 9PM. She had an hour to get to work. 

Sitting up again, her mind was catching up to her body and she took in where she was. Jean’s living room.

Oh shit. She had fallen asleep here?

Her eyes widened as she realized there were three things that were different from before she had drifted off.

The first was the small metal pot filled with soup that was resting on the square table. There was a note next to it, but Pieck couldn’t read it. It was written in Paradis Eldian.

The other two things were the pillow and blanket that she had magically acquired while she was sleeping.

She ran her hands along the smooth fabric of the dark red pillow. 

When did this come to her?

On a whim, the Warrior lifted the pillow up to her face.

It smelled like vanilla.


	8. Danger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello! Looks like we're in full AU mode now, huh? I'm hoping I can give you all at least a little bit of comfort with this fic. Are you ready to stick around and see what becomes of AU Jean and Pieck? :)

“Congrats Alina. This idiot really doesn’t deserve you,” Jean sighed, earning an under the table kick from his best friend. The glass of whiskey in his hand almost spilled from the force of it.

Connie and his now-fiancée Alina had just told him the happy news. He was glad his friend didn’t wait too long to ask her to marry him.

His fiancée was a tall, tan-skinned woman with short curly brown hair. She was a dressmaker who had stumbled upon Connie in the middle of one of his breakdowns, right in front of her shop.

The dressmaker knew the truth about everything. She was never really interested in politics, which was probably for the better. The way she looked at the world was simple. If she thought you were a good person, then you were deserving of kindness and love. 

She also completely understood her fiance’s attempt to stop the Rumbling. She knew the world must have been filled with good people who didn’t deserve to die because of the actions of a handful of bad people in power.

She was always full of energy, too, which was a complete contrast to the state his friend was in when the two had first met. 

Seeing his friend smile a lot more these days was great. Over time, and with a lot of support from Alina, Connie was able to get some more life in him. He still wasn’t fully back to his fun, upbeat personality but he was getting there. 

And he was doing much better than his ash brown-haired friend.

The couple constantly asked him to come visit. It had been over a month since Jean had done so. 

This was mostly due to an especially terrible episode of PTSD and depression that left the tall soldier curled up in a ball and shaking for weeks. 

He had been scared to visit Connie and possibly ruin any happiness his friend had just started to get back. He knew his fellow comrade would take one good look at him and be able to tell how fucked up he was.

Before that episode had hit him though, the ex-CO did like visiting the couple. Alina was very understanding about how damaged the two men were. She never brought up anything that could trigger them and only stuck to talking about the present and the future. 

Stupid, drunk conversations with those two were much needed for Jean. They were a good reset for him. 

And with today’s good news, he was sure they were going to get wasted. 

They were sitting at a dining table in the couple’s house on the other side of Central Stohess. It was about a thirty minute walk from his own house. 

Jean preferred to walk everywhere. He wasn’t in the right state to take care of his own horse. And while he was offered a car- something incredibly rare to have on the island- he refused that as well. Again, too much maintenance. 

“I told him on our first date that he’ll want to keep me. Guess I was right. Should have made a bet with him,” the young woman joked.

Connie, with his arm slung around his fiancée, couldn’t help but roll his eyes at her. 

“I don’t think I would have agreed to that bet,” he muttered, before giving Alina a smile. 

Connie may still be fucked up from everything, but he also showed the taller soldier that there was light at the end of the tunnel. Or maybe even in the middle of it. 

Alina was a year older than Jean and Connie, and originally from Shiganshina. She lost both her parents when they were sent on the suicide operation to retake Wall Maria. Jean recalled the same thing had happened to Armin’s grandfather. 

After that, she was taken in by an elderly dressmaker who lived in Trost. She passed her craft down to Alina and when the old lady died, the brunette decided to move to Stohess. 

Jean could see why the two had easily meshed. They both knew what it was like to lose their families. 

Though Connie never stopped reminding Jean that he was always going to be the closest thing to family he had. 

Which was fitting for what came next.

“You’re my first man, obviously. But don’t even try showing up if you’re going to look better than me,” his friend huffed at him before taking a sip of his drink.

Jean’s heart warmed at his best friend casually reminding him that he was his first man. 

“Also don’t you dare say a word about this to those military fuckers. It’ll just be the Scouts, Annie, and Alina’s close friends and coworkers at the wedding. We’ll probably just sign the papers and have a small reception,” Connie explained.

Jean nodded at his fellow Scout. 

“We need to figure out a date. We’ll wait for Armin and Annie to decide on theirs. We want them to get married first since they’ve been engaged for a while now,” Alina said, her excitement spiking up at the mention of the other wedding.

She was mostly excited because when the other couple announced their engagement, Annie had asked her to make her a wedding dress. 

Well, the former Female Titan had actually intended to pull Alina aside and ask her quietly, but Connie refused to let go of his girlfriend and with no other choice the blonde woman mumbled out the request, leaving everyone dumbfounded.

That hadn’t even been the most shocking request made by Annie that night. She also asked Mikasa if she would be her “witness”, indirectly asking her to be her first woman.

In Paradis’ wedding customs, the first man and first woman really only had one job. To sign as witnesses to the marriage. But it was still seen as something you only ask special people to do. 

Armin announced that Connie would be his first man, citing the “triangle method” for the three of them. The blonde Scout knew Connie would for sure want Jean to be his first man, so Connie would be his and Armin would be Jean’s. 

The tallest Scout recalled immediately downing his drink the moment he heard talk of his own wedding. 

He was way too damaged to even give that stuff a thought anymore. 

“Let me know once you find out. And call me whenever you need help,” he reminded the couple.

As they carried on with their mini celebration of the couple’s engagement, Jean’s mind kept drifting to Pieck.

It had been a little more than two weeks since the former Cart Titan had started coming over to his place. 

The two of them would have trivial conversations here and there, but the Scout usually left her alone, not wanting to force her to engage with him. Plus, she seemed like she needed to catch up on some much needed sleep. She had fallen asleep eight or nine times so far.

Jean had considered telling the couple about Pieck. Connie had even asked him what happened that night after he went off looking for her. The taller soldier told him he’d explain another time. 

He didn’t want to risk losing the Warrior’s trust. Especially after struggling so hard to convince her he wouldn’t cause trouble for her and the kids. He figured that he could ask her if she wanted to meet their other comrades after they had gotten more comfortable with each other. 

The ex-CO checked his watch. It was a quarter past six. Pieck would still be at his place. He wondered what she was doing. 

Ever since she had fallen asleep on his couch that first night, he had left a pillow and blanket for her before she came over. She usually stayed in that little section of his back room. And this forced the soldier, who used to just knock out on that couch himself, to actually sleep in his bedroom. 

Other than sleeping, the Scout had also noticed her writing in a notebook. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t curious about what she had been writing.

And at the end of each week, Pieck accepted the envelope of cash Jean handed to her. She told him she would use some of the money to give the kids their allowance, and then save the rest for their future.

He let her know he trusted her on how she wanted to use the money. She didn’t need to explain herself to him.

Every night, after the Warrior left for work, the Scout would linger in the small living room for a bit. Pieck’s lavender scent always filled that area of his house and it was something that he was starting to find intoxicating. 

Jean didn’t know if it was the alcohol in his system or the fact that she kept flashing into his mind, but he felt like seeing her. 

Like _immediately_.

Unknowingly, his foot started to impatiently tap under the dining table. 

Uh oh. He was sure he was out of his mind. 

Unable to stop himself, the tall soldier cleared his throat.

“I think I’m going to head off now. Thanks for inviting me,” Jean said to the couple, earning groans from both of them.

“No way! You have to stay until we say so!” Connie whined, slurring his words without a care in the world.

Jean reached over to poke his slumped over friend on the forehead, chuckling at the pout he earned from him.

“You definitely aren’t steady enough to stop me so you don’t have a say in this. And Alina if you try to keep me here, I’ll stop telling you those stories of Connie being a fucking idiot when we were in the training corps,” he warned the brunette, who looked shocked at the audacity of his threat. 

Alina sighed, giving her fiancé a poke as well.

“I think I’m going to have to let him go, love,” she said, not willing to sacrifice all the stories Jean had about her soon-to-be husband.

Connie sighed, sitting up again so he could glare at Jean. 

“You better be leaving early to actually do something. Don’t tell me you just want to go home,” he muttered to the taller soldier. 

Jean gave him a shrug and a smug little smile as he stood up from the table. His head rushed a little. Fucking Connie had manipulated him into drinking way too much, citing that he “wasn’t celebrating on their level”. And now he was completely wasted.

“Go fucking find a girlfriend or at least get laid. You make us worry about you too much,” Connie wailed at him, causing him to be on the receiving end of Jean’s whack to the back of his head. 

“Shut up or I’ll tell Alina stories you _don’t_ want me telling,” the ex-CO warned him, throwing his coat on as he staggered his way to the front door, not far away from the couple’s dining room. 

Alina followed, looking quite amused to talk to him about something. 

“If you _are_ seeing someone you should definitely bring them to the wedding. And if you’re single, you know my employee Claire is always interested. She’d love for you to be her date,” she teased him, chuckling at the tall Scout’s irritated reaction. 

He had run into Claire when the ex-CO had to drop something off at Alina’s shop and unbeknownst to him, she had somehow fallen for him. And had been pestering Connie’s fiancée to set up a meeting between the two of them. 

“Please don’t even plant that idea in her mind,” he warned the dressmaker, who rolled her eyes at his immediate refusal. 

After somehow getting his shoes on, he turned his head to yell out to Connie.

“Don’t give Alina a hard time and don’t say stupid shit to Annie when you tell her and Armin the news!” he called out, receiving incoherent mumbles in response.

“Thanks, Jean. Don’t hesitate to drop by whenever you feel like it. You know he worries about you a lot. And I do, too. So take care of yourself. Also, listen to Connie and go get laid! I can call Clai-” 

“Bye, Alina!” Jean cut her off as he pretty much jumped out of the house. 

Still pretty drunk, that move almost landed him on his back. 

After giving Connie’s future wife a wave goodbye, the Scout started to make his way home, resisting the warnings his brain was giving to him. 

Although it had just been a couple of weeks since Pieck had been around him, her presence in the house already had an effect on Jean. He had mixed feelings about it. 

One feeling was that Pieck’s company was comforting, even if it was unintentional. She made his house feel less dead. And though their conversations were still rigid and awkward, he found himself looking for chances to speak to her.

The other feeling was the one that he had to keep in check. He wasn’t going to lie and say he wasn’t attracted to Pieck. She was pretty, of course, but he also found himself particularly enjoying the moments where he could see the fire in her eyes. Jean didn’t know a judging look or a glare from the petite woman would be this alluring to him. It made heat rush throughout his body and the Scout would need to suppress all the risky thoughts that would come to his mind. 

It was dangerous. 

He knew it would be best for them both if they stayed away from each other.

Shit. He couldn’t help it right now, though. He just really wanted to see her.

______________________________________________________________

  
  
Pieck’s eyes widened just a bit at the sound of the front door being unlocked. 

She hadn’t seen Jean at all today and had wondered where he had gone.

Not that she was interested in the Scout’s whereabouts.

Getting up off the couch and walking towards the back entryway, Pieck poked her head out just a bit to confirm it was him.

And there he was. Struggling hard to untie the laces off of his dress shoes.

“Fuck,” she heard him curse as he resigned to his fate of having to sit on the ground and figure out how to get his shoes off. 

Oh. Was he drunk? 

The Warrior felt her heartbeat quicken by just a fraction at the thought of being alone in the house with a drunk Jean.

She watched, finding herself a little amused at the struggles the tall man was currently going through. He was sulking like a child, likely believing no one was witnessing him acting like that.

After giving up and resorting to just kicking his shoes off, the tall man sighed and spun around to sit against the front door. As he did so, Pieck suddenly found herself making eye contact with him. Panicking a little, the former Cart Titan made herself known. 

She walked up to the Scout, smoothing down her short dress. She didn’t miss the way Jean’s eyes caught the movement. 

“Hello, Pieck,” he greeted her as he decided to get comfortable against the door. When she got a bit closer, she could smell the expensive cologne in the air. 

The Warrior mourned the loss of the vanilla scent. She was tempted to light Jean’s candles for him. 

“Sorry. I was at Connie’s place. Had a bit too much to drink, I guess,” he sighed, tilting his head up and gazing at the ceiling above her. 

“I see,” she responded, taking the opportunity to get a proper look at the man in front of her. 

Pieck felt her body heat up as the handsome man undid the first few buttons on his black dress shirt. Right after, her eyes followed the movement of his hand as it combed back his long ash-brown locks. 

“Connie’s getting married,” Jean announced to her, allowing her to catch a relieved smile on the Scout’s face. 

The former Cart Titan wasn’t too taken aback by the news. The Scout told her a little about Connie and his now-fiancée Alina. He had mentioned that they were probably going to get married soon. 

When the tall man tilted his head back down, again catching Pieck staring at him, he let out a chuckle. 

“You look tall from here,” he mumbled, and the Warrior clocked another new expression on his face. 

Tease.

“Well if you stand up, things will go back to normal,” she replied, wondering why she was entertaining this conversation. 

The man pondered her suggestion and eventually lifted himself back onto his feet. He shrugged out of his coat, and took extra time than usual to hang it up.

Pieck admired his side profile, always having had a preference for facial hair. And she also noted that Jean looked very attractive in black. 

Danger. 

She snapped out of a certain thought before it could even formulate in her mind.

“You should drink some water,” she advised the tall Scout.

There it was again. That startled look on his face whenever she spoke first.

“Oh. I guess I should,” he said, slightly wavering from side to side as he marched over to her.

The sight amused her at first. But the closer he got to her and the more she felt his eyes on her, the more nervous she became. 

She turned around and walked away from him before he could make it to her side.

Strolling over to the large kitchen, the petite woman grabbed the jug of water and made her way back to the dining table. 

Jean slumped down onto a chair and rested his forehead on the table. He tilted his head so his eyes could follow her as she walked up to him.

“I don’t like you seeing me like this,” she caught him muttering under his breath.

She reached for a glass and filled it with water before placing it down in front of the Scout.

And then Jean looked completely taken aback as Pieck took a seat across from him.

“I, uh, I’m sorry. Don’t worry, I’ll leave you alone soon,” the tall man assured her.

The Warrior shook her head. 

“You don’t have to feel bad or apologize about coming back wasted to _your_ house,” she reminded him.

The former Commanding Officer buried his face in his arms. Pieck took a moment to look at him like this. It was the most relaxed he had ever been in front of her.

“Hmm...it’s nice,” he sighed after they sat in silence for a bit. The statement confused the young woman.

“What is?” she asked, averting her eyes quickly as Jean peeked out of his crossed arms and rested his chin over them, staring directly at her.

Silence again. Tension filled the air as the former Cart Titan felt his eyes on her. 

“It’s nice coming back home to someone,” he mumbled at her.

She was sure if he was sober, Jean would have caught the hitch in her breath. It wasn’t even what he said that took her aback. It was the smile he had on his face as he said it.

Sure, he had smiled at her before. But this smile was different. The first thought that came to her mind was that the Scout looked cute. 

Cute? Cute?! Jean!?! Cute?!?!

Of course, the second thing that popped into her mind immediately after was:

Danger.

She knew _he_ was drunk and was bound to act a little different because of it. But _she_ was sober and had to be very careful about every action and word of hers.

“You should drink your water,” Pieck suggested to him, shoving the glass closer to him.

Jean gave her what she would assume was a pout before he buried his head back in his arms, leaving the Warrior dumbfounded.

“Jean?” she called out to him.

She was met with silence and almost believed that the tall Scout had passed out.

A moment later he mumbled something under his breath that the former Titan Shifter couldn’t pick up.

“Ionwanasipwiclr”

“What was that?” she asked him, slightly regretting doing so. 

Why wasn’t she leaving him alone?

Jean sat back up in his chair again, looking a little frustrated at the young woman for making him repeat himself.

“I don’t want to sleep with Claire,” he dramatically enunciated, speaking through gritted teeth.

Who was Claire? And why did Jean not want to sleep with her? And why was he telling this to Pieck?

“Don’t call her. I don’t want her,” he murmured softly, his glazed over eyes indicating he was still quite out of it.

Jean probably didn’t even realize it was Pieck he was saying these things to. He looked like he was mostly talking to himself.

So the former Cart Titan just didn’t respond back. Though, something _did_ compel her to still sit there in front of him. 

“I want to hide,” he whispered.

The underlying tone in his voice was not missed by Pieck. The Scout sounded like he was in despair. 

She figured it wasn’t just this Claire he was trying to hide from. 

“Why do you want to hide?” she decided to ask him, noting that her voice had snapped him out of his little trance. 

He was focused on her again. She followed his eyes as they landed on her wavy black hair. She wondered why he seemed drawn to it. 

The Warrior watched as Jean registered that she caught him staring at her. His fairly flushed cheeks turned an even darker shade of red. 

“Y-You’re hair...is black,” he “explained” to her, and Pieck found herself a tiny bit amused at the usually level-headed man’s drunken babbles.

That moment of amusement was gone in a second when she watched him lean over the table and slowly extend his arm towards her.

This time, she quickly caught it before it reached her.

Both of them stayed frozen, with the petite woman’s hand wrapped around the tall man’s wrist.

“Can I touch-” he began to ask.

“No,” Pieck cut him off, and the look on the Scout’s face left her appalled.

He looked heartbroken. She was sure sober Jean would never look at her like that. It was such a rattling look on him that the Warrior was at a loss for words.

She wondered how many other expressions he was withholding from her. 

_“I want to hide.”_

Shit. She knew curiosity about her former comrade would only lead to trouble. 

But there was something about the vulnerable look on his face that actually made her feel safe with him in that moment. 

Right now, she was the one with all the power. She had his arm in her hand and his real emotions laid out to her.

And what was the real Jean in this moment? The one underneath all the masks?

He was just some drunk guy who thought her hair was nice and wanted to touch it. 

Pieck felt her heartbeat quicken as she made a decision that she knew she might come to regret.

She brought herself closer to him, leaning forward just like he had done. Loosening her grip on his wrist, she guided his hand over to the side of her head, resting it over her hair.

Hopefully he’ll forget this in the morning.

The Warrior kept her eyes locked on his face, trying to figure out what Jean was thinking.

He looked at her in shock as he took a moment to realize what Pieck had just granted him. She could feel him hesitate before his gentle fingers combed through the length of her long black hair. 

His eyes were fixed onto the movement of each strand. As the former Titan shifter watched him, she could see the awe in his face.

His hand found its way to the top of her head again and this time, he was less hesitant. She felt the back of his hand graze her cheek as his fingers ran through her hair again.

“Fuck. So beautiful,” Jean breathed out.

The young woman felt chills go through her. The Scout hadn’t been looking at her hair when he uttered those words. He had looked her straight in the eye. 

She could feel her face heat up and she finally decided to avert her eyes from him.

The tall soldier smoothly tucked her hair behind her ear. His hand lingered there and he took a moment to brush his thumb over her cheekbone. He then boldly began tracing his hand down the outline of her face. 

It really wasn’t the time nor place, but Pieck found herself distracted by his warmth. 

She could also feel the calluses on his fingers. It made sense. No soldier could possibly have smooth hands. And he had been one for almost a decade.

The Warrior was also aware that she should be pulling away from him. She shouldn’t have even ended up in this situation, let alone allowed it to get this far.

But something deep down inside her felt pleasure in his touches. And _that_ was an indulgent thought that she knew she couldn’t afford to have. 

Still, in the past year the only men who had touched her were those trying to force themselves on her. Or employers who exerted their power by striking her with their hands. 

One look at Jean told her he didn’t fall into either category. As drunk as he was, he was still respectful. And even if he did have desires, he wasn’t pushing them onto her. 

It must have been that particular realization that caused Pieck to slip up and let this whole moment happen between them. 

The petite woman ducked her head, trying to clear her mind and find the strength to pull away from the handsome soldier.

Danger. 

His hand, now resting on her chin, lifted her head back up and she found herself staring into those soft, light brown eyes again. 

Fuck. So beautiful. 

And with that final greedy thought, as if time and reality had re-entered her life, Pieck backed away from him, leaving his hand suspended in the air.

The movement seemed like it even snapped Jean out of the moment. He suddenly looked much more sober and aware, quickly coming back to his senses. 

Silently, he backed away as well and brought his hand over to the glass of water Pieck had given him earlier. He lifted the glass to his lips, and Pieck couldn’t help but stare at his Adam’s apple moving up and down as he gulped the water down.

Her eyes shifted lower to the smooth skin of his bare chest, exposed by the few buttons he had undone earlier. 

She noticed a faint white scar on his collarbone. The former Titan shifter wondered how many scars Jean possessed. And where on his body they were all located. 

He caught her watching him and the Warrior looked back up at him just in time to see something flicker in his eyes. And immediately after, he shut them, blocking away whatever thoughts had just popped into his mind.

The Scout cleared his throat and looked away.

“Sorry if I got in your way...and if I did anything to make you uncomfortable. I’ll head upstairs now,” he said as he stood up out of his chair. 

Pieck ignored the way she felt as he said those words. This time, she couldn’t give in to her feelings. She had to stay strong. 

This _was_ going to be the end of their conversation. 

“Goodnight, Pieck. Please stay safe for m-...please stay safe,” Jean softly mumbled to her as he gave her a small smile.

And then he turned around and, with just a slight stagger in his steps, he left the room. 

The Warrior remained in the same spot for a while. 

The strumming in her heart, along with the heat that she felt in her cheeks and in the pit of her stomach, led to her repeating the same word over and over again in her mind.

Danger.


	9. Lavender

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you for your lovely comments. Glad to see so many of you eager to stick around! Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Pieck sat at the table with Gabi and Falco, placing down the heated up leftovers from Lazy Lassos. Mrs.Stutzel had packed her a big slice of shepherd’s pie and some leftover vanilla cake. 

The kids were always in a good mood on the days they got dessert. They never made any sweets in the house. It was something Pieck felt bad about. But her schedule just didn’t make it possible. 

Though she did think about asking Jean if she could use his kitchen. It had been three weeks and she only really entered the Scout’s kitchen when she needed water or she had to wash dishes. 

And the reason she was washing dishes was because Jean would cook for her on the days he didn’t go out. He also never left her his own dishes to wash.

She realized he was quite meticulous. He stuck to similar patterns and habits. She didn’t know if he had always been that way. 

Ever since the Warrior’s encounter with a drunken Jean, the two of them mostly kept to themselves. They had probably exchanged a total of thirty words in the past week. 

And even through all that awkwardness, the tall soldier always made enough food for her to eat as well. 

“Jean’s coming to see us today,” Gabi reminded Pieck, who was waiting for the brunette to bring it up.

With the former Cart Titan’s permission, the tall soldier had dropped by a few days earlier to spend time with the kids. He told them he was going to take them to a market festival in Eastern Stohess. 

The festival usually attracted the lower classes, so the chances of them bumping into any Royal folk were slim to none. 

When the kids let her know about it the next day, they asked her if it was okay to go. She told them she was fine with it and left it up to them to decide.

The excitement on their faces was not well hidden. It made her happy to see them so lively. 

So along with the dessert, the kids also had a fun day to look forward to. Falco had asked her three times if he could see the time on her pocket watch. Which was cute because either way Jean wasn’t going to come till after the Warrior had left.

She also noticed Gabi was wearing her favourite outfit: a beige dress with black stockings. She made the blonde boy somewhat match her with his black pants and brown shirt.

Pieck reached into her work bag, pulling out two pouches. She handed them to the kids.

“Your allowances. Don’t forget to take enough for the festival. And if there’s something you really want, you should buy it,” she told them.

Falco opened his pouch, eyes widening at the evident increase in their monthly allowance. Gabi didn’t even need to open it. She was already able to tell from the weight of the pouch that something was different. 

“Whoa, Pieck! This is a lot more than usual,” she announced as she looked up at the Warrior.

“Yeah I’ve found some consistent errand work that pays well. And they treat me nicely, too,” she explained.

She had to leave out Jean’s name for sure. Pieck knew that the kids already didn’t like relying on her. If they found out about the Scout’s support, it’ll only increase their feeling of being burdensome. 

And that was the last thing the former Titan shifter wanted. Because if the kids acted impulsively, there was a high chance they would choose to not go to school and would instead try to look for a job. 

Child labour jobs weren’t rare on Paradis. Hell, they weren’t rare in the pre-Rumbling world, either. 

But Pieck didn’t want them to work. They had spent their early childhood working as child soldiers. It was time for them to relax and actually be children.

“That’s great! I can’t believe it,” Falco said, still glancing at the pouch in astonishment. 

“As I’ve already told you, you can do whatever you want with your allowances. Spend it, save it, whatever you want. But make sure you enjoy the festival,” she instructed them.

The kids nodded their heads, still clearly in shock about the pouches in their hands.

“Thanks, Pieck. I’m so happy you found a nice employer,” Gabi said to her, giving the older woman a relieved smile. The blonde boy also thanked her. 

“Is there anything you want from the festival?” he asked her. 

The former Cart Titan shook her head. 

“No, I don’t need anything,” she answered back, reaching over to ruffle Falco’s hair.

“We’re not asking if you  _ need _ anything. We’re asking if you  _ want _ anything,” Gabi clarified, trying to push the Warrior into telling them something so they could buy it for her. 

Pieck smiled and shook her head again, leaning over to cut the shepherd’s pie into thirds. 

“I’m okay. I just want you two to have fun. And don’t give Jean a hard time,” she warned them, specifically looking at Gabi.

The young brunette looked betrayed at the pointed look. She looked between Pieck and Falco as if she was completely innocent. 

“When did I ever give him a hard time? If anything  _ he _ was the one instigating. And Falco! You agreed with everything I was saying,” Gabi accused the blonde boy as well.

“I didn’t say you gave him a hard time. I’m saying don’t do it now. Though from what I’m hearing it seems something may have already happened,” the Warrior called the kids out, amused as they both exchanged hesitant glances at each other. 

She plopped the individual slices of pie on their plates as they whispered something incoherent between the two of them. She could tell they were arguing about whether or not they should tell her something.

“Uh, Pieck? We may have, sort of, uh, threatened Jean the first time he was here. But he did sort of ask for it,” Falco confessed. 

The petite woman was intrigued. It wasn’t really like the blonde boy to threaten anyone. 

“What did he do for you two to threaten him?” she asked.

The brunette bit her lip, thinking about how she should answer the question.

“Well first we told him it was dangerous to see us. But then that eventually got cleared up. In between, though, we did threaten him because...because he kept looking at you,” the young girl whispered.

Pieck tried to keep the expression on her face under control. Part of her was flustered that the kids pointed that out to her. Another part was endeared by their willingness to threaten someone double their size in order to protect her.

She let out a chuckle, surprising the kids. 

“Thanks for worrying about me. You guys know Jean wouldn’t hurt me. But even if he tries to, you know I can handle him. So don’t be so standoffish with him because of me. You can tell he’s trying to be your friend,” the former Titan shifter pointed out to them.

The kids mumbled out quiet agreements as she handed their forks to them.

“If you ever  _ do _ need to fight him, feel free to invite us too,” Gabi just had to add in before the three of them began eating their meals. 

  
  


____________________________________

  
  


  
“Stop running,” Jean complained as both kids he was currently looking after took off without warning. He was suddenly thankful he was so tall. It granted him a greater line of vision. 

The Scout had been driven crazy by the two thirteen year olds in the matter of hours.

When he picked them up from their place, they immediately questioned his “obsession with fedoras”. And then they proceeded to give him a quick apology for threatening him. Which, to be honest, was something the tall soldier had completely forgotten about. 

Either way it was an up and down roller coaster with these kids.

Jean got the idea to take them to the market festival in Eastern Stohess when Alina brought it up during his visit. Her dress shop had been planning to set up a stall there but she ended up swamped with tons of private orders so the plan fell through.

He also wasn’t too worried about being recognized. Eastern Stohess had the least amount of contact with the military folk. And the Royal fuckers wouldn’t bother coming to festivals that sold second-hand items. 

He saw Gabi and Falco stop in front of a stall where an elderly woman was selling books. They varied in multiple genres, but most of them were novels.

The Scout had been trying to guess which kid was going to buy something based on the stalls they stopped at. So far, Falco had very excitedly bought a used antique watch and Gabi had bought a small ornate box that she was going to keep all adventure collectibles in. The former Commanding Officer offered to carry it for her, but she refused to let him do so.

Which one of them would want a book? Jean didn’t have to wonder for very long. The blonde’s eyes gave it away.

“Mia, which one should I get?” Falco asked her, calling her by her fake name so naturally.

The ex-CO was so afraid of slipping up with their names that he just avoided doing it entirely.

The young boy was eyeing a section of dictionaries. The sight suddenly made the Scout wonder something.

How were the kids even able to read? The writing system was different on Paradis compared to Marley. It was a question he had to wait to ask them.

As Falco and Gabi were deciding on that, Jean’s eyes fell on something. It was a thick, book-sized hardcover journal.

What caught his attention was the colour of its cover. It was lavender and immediately made him think of Pieck. 

These days, the former Titan shifter had been writing a lot more than she was sleeping. The tall soldier still didn’t know what she was writing about, but still.

He picked the journal up and checked it out. In the middle of the cover was a beautiful tree painted in gold. 

Pretty, just like her. 

That morning after their moment at the dining table was both great and terrible. Great because he remembered every single thing that happened. And terrible because he remembered every single thing that happened.

Where he got the nerve to touch Pieck like that was beyond him. And to make things even more convoluted, she let him do it. Of course, until both of them were struck back to reality again.

The encounter led to the tall soldier avoiding her as much as he could. He didn’t want her to be so uncomfortable that she would stop coming to his house. 

No. He had grown so used to her presence in his house that he couldn’t fathom how depressing it would be if she were to suddenly go away.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when he felt a tap on his back.

“Which one should I get?” Falco asked him, holding up two dictionaries.

Books weren’t really Jean’s forte. He was sure if Armin was here, he would be much better help for the blonde boy.

“What’s the difference?” he asked the kid, earning a heavy sigh in return.

“Nevermind. I’ll just get this one because it has more words,” Falco murmured. 

The Scout watched as the kids walked up to the elderly woman.

“Can I have this book, please?” the blonde boy asked, placing it down in front of her. 

The lady smiled at him before putting on her glasses to inspect the book. 

Jean, still holding onto the journal, made his way over to them. The old woman looked up at him.

“Oh hello, sir. Are these lovely kids yours?” she asked, earning a bewildered look from all three of them.

“No, he’s our older brother,” Gabi quickly answered, before anyone could start raising suspicion. 

The ex-CO’s heart warmed at her impulsive answer. He didn’t have any siblings but if he was able to pick some, he wouldn’t mind choosing Gabi and Falco. 

“Ah, I see. So will you be the one paying?” she asked the Scout.

Again, before he could speak, one of the kids interrupted him.

“No, we have our allowances,” Falco said, holding up his money pouch. 

Jean didn’t interfere or offer to pay instead. He learned in the beginning of their trip to the market festival that the kids didn’t want him paying. When he had brought it up, he was met with harsh attitudes from both of them. 

Pieck did mention that they didn’t like feeling indebted to anyone. 

After Falco handed some coins over to the lady, she eyed the journal in Jean’s hands.

“Would you like to buy that one, dear?”

Both kids turned to look at what he was holding.

Uh oh. He hadn’t really planned out how he was going to give this to the Warrior without raising suspicion from the kids. 

“Yes, please,” he answered, placing it in front of her and pulling out his wallet. 

After he paid and they walked away from the booth, they took a seat on a stone bench. The two kids were on either side of him, happily looking at the items in their hands. 

“How are you able to read that? It’s written in Paradis Eldian,” Jean asked the blonde boy as he gestured to the dictionary.

“The first thing Pieck bought for us when we got settled here was a book with the Paradis alphabet. Even if the letters look different, they still make the same sounds the Marleyan ones do. It didn’t take that long to match the letters and practice,” the kid shrugged at him.

Wow. The Scout was amazed at the effort it must have taken to decipher the letters.

“Pieck told us we had to practice before school starts. Ben’s much better at it than I am,” Gabi sighed, extending her hand out for the young boy to pass her the dictionary.

“Yeah, but your handwriting is nicer. You’ll probably blend in much better than I will, Mia,” Falco assured her.

The kids spent the next few minutes showing off their reading skills to Jean. As expected of kids who were once trained soldiers, they were both efficient readers. The ex-CO wouldn’t have been able to tell that it was all foreign to them up until a year ago. 

“I wish Pieck had the time to learn. She’s been so busy with work that she hasn’t been able to teach herself. I feel bad,” the blonde boy muttered as he flipped through the pages of the dictionary. 

Shit. How the hell did it not occur to him before that the Warrior couldn’t read Paradis Eldian? 

Jean now felt stupid for leaving her those notes next to the meals he made for her. It must have made her feel powerless for not being able to read it.

Well, at least he knew now. 

“Who’s this for? Your girlfriend?” Gabi asked him, her tone very much teasing. She was tapping on the journal in his hand.

Jean really wished he  _ was _ their older brother. That way he may have been able to get away with at least flicking the brat on her forehead. 

Knowing he only had seconds before he had to give them an answer, the Scout tried to come up with the best plan for getting this journal to the former Titan shifter.

“I, uh, actually bought it for Pieck,” he confessed. The confusion on both kids’ faces was evident.

“What? Why?” Falco asked him.

It made sense why they were so confused. To them, Jean and Pieck had only interacted for a couple of days and that was weeks ago. 

“Well, I thought it looked nice. And you said she works a lot, right? Maybe she could use it for her schedules. Also, I know you guys said you don’t want me buying  _ you _ anything. So, I thought I could buy Pieck something instead,” he explained.

The kids rightfully still looked skeptical. Gabi narrowed her eyes at him.

“I need you two to do me a favour though,” Jean continued, biting his lip nervously as he fidgeted with the journal in his hands. 

This seemed to intrigue them. Tch. They probably enjoyed the idea of having power over him. 

“What is it?” the young brunette asked him, raising her eyebrows much higher than she needed to. 

“Can you give this to Pieck saying it’s from you two? I don’t want her to be weirded out or anything if she hears that it’s from me,” he mumbled.

The kids looked at each other, communicating with their eyes. Jean patiently waited for them to give him an answer.

“It  _ is _ kind of weird, you know,” Falco pointed out, his tone teasing as well now. 

“Yeah, why are you so weird?” Gabi added on.

The tall soldier wanted to bury his head into the fucking ground. He didn’t realize getting called out by thirteen year olds would be this humiliating. 

“Are you going to do it or not?” he muttered to them, holding the book up in front of the brunette.

“Yeah, yeah. Only because it’s pretty. And Pieck needs more pretty things in her life,” Gabi agreed as she took the journal from him. 

Falco nodded along, whispering something under his breath about Gabi being pretty. 

Oh well. At least the kids listened to him. He didn’t know why he was so thrilled about secretly giving her something. It made him feel like he was Falco and Gabi’s age again. 

\--

When Jean dropped the kids back off at their house, it was nearing 7PM. Both were stuffed from all the food they had shared with him after he “accidentally” bought too much. 

Before he stepped out, though, the kids stopped him. 

“Here,” Falco said, shoving something into his hand. 

Both of them looked flustered as they quickly pushed him out of their front door and locked it. Confused, he looked down at the item he had gotten from them. 

Removing the wrapping on the outside, he found a smooth white stone the size of a large coin. His name was etched into it in thick gold letters. 

He wondered when the kids managed to sneak off and get it for him. The only time he could recall was when Gabi told him and Falco to wait for her while she went off to find a bathroom.

He smiled at the stone, feeling a little shaken up that the kids bought him something. Especially after putting him through the ringer for most of the day. 

He gave their front door a knock. Knowing they wouldn’t want to face him right now, he decided to speak from the outside.

“Thanks. Who knew you two liked me this much? Anyways, don’t forget the favour I asked. And make sure you don’t open the door to any strangers,” he called out, wondering if they were still standing near the door.

“Okay. You can leave. We won’t forget your weird request,” he heard Gabi mumble from the other side. 

Chuckling, he said goodbye and walked away. 

After admiring the gift one last time, he safely tucked it away in his pocket. 

\--

When he made his way to the back room of his house about a half hour later, Jean found the Warrior sleeping on his long couch. He had only peeked at her, not wanting to invade her privacy. 

He sat at the dining table, tired yet content after his long day with the kids. 

The calm atmosphere in his house was broken a few minutes later when he heard a gasp come from where Pieck had been sleeping. And immediately after, he heard a loud thud.

Did she just...fall off his couch?

“Pieck?!” Jean called out, getting up and rushing over to the small living room. 

He found the petite woman crawling over to the side wall, shaking. He could hear her struggling to breathe. Once she got to the wall, she sat with her back against it and curled into a ball with her knees up. Jean could see pure terror on her face. 

He cautiously approached her as she continued to shake. Her eyes were tightly shut and her hands were over her ears. She wasn’t making any noise at all though. Somehow, that left him even more unsettled. 

“Hey, Pieck? Are you okay? What happened?” the Scout asked her as he kneeled down in front of her. 

She opened her eyes at the sound of his voice, but nothing else changed. She was still trembling, and seemingly trying to catch her breath. Her eyes  _ were _ looking at him, but she appeared very much out of it. 

Her dress had ridden up so much that the entire lower half of her body was exposed to him. Averting his eyes, the tall soldier quickly shrugged off his coat, placing it over her legs so she would feel safer with him. 

“Just breathe. Is there anything I can do?” he softly implored. 

Jean was afraid to touch her. He didn’t want to scare the former Titan shifter away. 

Out of nowhere, she moved one of her shaking hands and reached over to him. Wanting to figure out what Pieck needed, the Scout tried to read her eyes. 

Oh. 

He lifted his hand and placed it in hers. Her hands were as cold as ice and so small compared to his. 

He watched as she brought his hand over to her cheek, pressing her own hand over his. 

She shut her eyes again, looking like she was focusing on steadying her breath. It was like she was using him to keep herself grounded. 

The former Commanding Officer stayed frozen, not wanting to do anything to interrupt. 

Jean didn’t know how long they sat like that for. It felt like hours, but it was probably more like ten minutes. 

He noted the beads of sweat that formed on her pretty face. Strands of her black hair stuck to them. 

Her trembling started to drop in intensity. The Scout could hear her breathing begin to stabilize as well. 

He wondered whether this was just a random occurrence, or something that happened frequently to her. She remained so quiet even though her body had been shaking so violently. 

Did this ever happen while he was upstairs avoiding her? 

He would much rather be in the position he was now and reap the possible consequences afterwards. 

Eventually, Pieck’s body stopped shaking entirely. She took a few deep breaths in and out, still pressing Jean’s hand into her cheek. The Scout’s hand was so big that he could feel her lips brushing against his palm. 

Her eyes flew open again, looking much more aware this time. She averted them from him and removed his hand from her face. Just as he pulled it away from her, her eyes seemed to fall on something, eliciting a soft gasp out of her. 

“Y-Your hand. I’m s-sorry,” she whispered, her voice breaking as the expression on her face changed to guilt.

Confused, Jean turned his hand over to see what she was talking about.

Ah. It appeared the Warrior had dug her nails deep enough into his hand for there to be harsh red marks left on it. He hadn’t even felt the pain though. He’d really only been focused on her.

Though now that he was made aware of it, he did feel a slight sting in his hand. 

“Don’t worry about it. It doesn’t hurt at all. Let me get you some water,” he said, getting up and walking back to the dining room.

After pouring her a glass, the Scout made his way back to her. When the former Cart Titan took it from him, he decided to take a seat next to her, crossing his legs as he did so.

Well not exactly next to her. There was a gap. 

But it was close enough that he wondered if Pieck would move away. After all, they really hadn’t spoken properly since that day the week before.

Surprisingly, she didn’t move away.

“Nightmare?” he asked, slightly panicking right after about whether he should even be asking her about it. 

“Mmhm,” she hummed in affirmation. 

As she drank her water, Jean took the time to peek at her. She really was beautiful from every angle. 

The ex-CO quickly moved his eyes away from her. He didn’t want his distractedness to interfere with this conversation.

“Yours are very quiet,” he pointed out, leaning back till he hit the wall behind them.

He was met with a long moment of silence before Pieck spoke.

“The kids get them, too. Theirs are worse than mine. Especially Gabi’s,” she explained, earning a nod from the tall soldier. 

“What do you do? When they get nightmares, I mean,” Jean asked her. 

From the corner of his eye he could see the Warrior’s hands twisting the glass in her hands. There was a slight tremble in her hold on it. 

“Hmm, well Falco struggles with breathing. We just talk to him until he can breathe again. Gabi screams. One of us would usually hold her until she calms down,” she responded.

Pieck’s tone was incredibly sad. The Scout noticed that she tended to show a lot more emotion when it came to the kids. 

“And you? This is what happens when you…?” Jean trailed off.

He sensed her nod her head. Peeking back at her face, he could see a faint blush forming on her cheeks.

“Because I’m quiet I usually move away from the kids and calm myself down. Guess it became a habit which is why...just now…” she trailed off as well. 

The tall soldier gave her a look of understanding, before facing the opposite wall again. 

His heart was still racing a little from seeing her in that state. Now that she was calm and back to her mostly-expressionless self, it felt like what happened just now was really a nightmare in itself.

“I get them, too. More often than not, to be honest. Don’t know what I’m like when I go through it though,” he admitted to her. 

Pieck hummed in response. 

Not knowing where to take the conversation, the Scout just sat there with her. He was too nervous to turn his head and look at her again.

What if it causes her to end this moment between them and move away from him the way she did that other night?

Fuck. He really needed to figure out what it was that he was feeling for her. Because things really  _ were _ starting to get dangerous.

They must have sat there for quite a while because Jean suddenly felt a weight on his upper arm. He looked to the side to see the Warrior leaning against him, completely knocked out. 

Her mind and body must have been super worn out by the whole nightmare situation.

The Scout felt guilty for feeling good about getting this opportunity. He may have even smiled a little.

Shit. 

He was also very aware of his struggle to keep his hands to himself. Pieck’s pretty black hair was covering part of her face and he was tempted to move it. 

Was it dangerous to do so? Maybe. Did he still want to do it? Fuck yeah.

Using his free arm, he reached over to gently tuck her loose strands of hair behind the petite woman’s ear. Okay, maybe he was getting a bit too confident right now. 

But she was literally just sitting here, with her head on his upper arm because she was so damn tiny that her head couldn’t reach his shoulder. 

Before he could convince himself to do something else entirely idiotic, he pulled his hand back. Keeping his eyes on her, he sighed. Her lavender scent was occupying all of his senses. 

The tall soldier also didn’t know how she could sleep so quietly. He had to listen carefully to double check that she was even breathing.

Jean admired how strong she was. She helped the kids through their nightmares while keeping her own ones hidden from them. How she switched from the look of pure terror and helplessness on her face back to the calm demeanour she held herself with both amazed him and saddened him. 

Was she going to live like this forever? Hiding everything from everyone?

Yeah, he knew he was a hypocrite for thinking that. 

The Scout stayed like that with Pieck for maybe an hour or so, not caring if his body was cramping up. He didn’t want to interrupt her sleep, especially as she looked so at peace. 

Somewhere in that time, the Titan shifter had used both her hands to grip onto his forearm and nuzzle herself even more into him. 

And fuck if that didn’t make his throat dry and his heart hammer in his chest, he didn’t know what did. 

Although he really wanted to, he couldn’t fall asleep. He feared his giant body might accidentally fall over onto hers. He  _ would _ do something that stupid. 

But when he felt the Warrior start to shift around in her sleep, he immediately shut his eyes. No way was he going to deal with the inevitable awkward situation that would come out of this. 

Yes, that’s right. He was a coward who was going to pretend to sleep.

He heard the former Cart Titan’s breath hitch and figured she was awake. She was probably taking in the predicament she was in.

Not even a second later, he felt her slowly lift herself off of him, letting go of his arm in the process. 

Jean couldn’t sense any movement from her after that.

But it was almost like he could feel her eyes on him. Was she just sitting there staring at him? 

It was dead silent for about half a minute. 

And then he suddenly felt his hand being lifted up. It was placed in the palm of a much softer and smaller hand.

Jean had to resist the voice in his head that was tempting him to open his eyes. 

He also had to keep his breathing level as he felt the Warrior’s gentle fingers run over the back of his hand. 

It had taken the tall soldier way too long to realize that the hand she was holding was the one she had dug her nails into. And she was holding it like it was something extremely delicate.

Oh. This was nice. It was almost lulling him into an actual sleep. 

“Sorry,” he heard her whisper as she slowly brought his hand back down to where it had originally been. The Scout wanted to congratulate himself for somehow not getting caught yet. 

He wondered if she could hear how loud his heart was beating. 

Everything fell silent around him again. Did she leave for real this time?

The answer was a definite no as he felt hesitant fingers brush against his cheek for what felt like just a fraction of a second.

Holy shit. He was sure that he stopped breathing entirely. 

As Pieck got up and placed what he assumed was his coat next to him, he was sure he still hadn’t taken a breath. 

And when he heard her pick up the glass and make her way to the kitchen, Jean was more tempted than ever to open his eyes. He wanted to confirm that this wasn’t a dream. 

But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Not yet. 

He could hear the Warrior collecting her belongings and making her way down the hallway. And at the sound of the front door shutting, the ex-CO finally opened his eyes.

He lifted his hand up to touch his cheek. 

Jean could ignore it or deny it all he wanted, but the fact of the matter remained. 

He was kind of, maybe, probably, for sure starting to fall for Pieck. 


	10. Frustrations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Enjoy!

Yes. 

She knew she was out of her fucking mind. 

Staring at her beautiful new journal, the Warrior had been completely absorbed in her thoughts for at least the last hour. Behind her, she could hear the tall soldier quietly cooking in the kitchen. 

Everything that happened the night before was a perfect sum up of the stupid, illogical, and dangerous relationship she had been forming with Jean.

Pieck tried to think about it rationally. But she really couldn’t.

Why the hell was he so nice to her? She didn’t ask him to be. If anything, the former Titan shifter had been creating an awkward enough atmosphere between the two of them so the ex-CO would feel compelled to leave her alone. 

And he _had_ been doing that. Until she fell off his fucking couch and probably scared the ever living shit out of him. 

Stupid, stupid, stupid. 

And then in the middle of her embarrassing freak out she apparently _had_ _to_ hold the Scout’s hand against her cheek. 

She just...had no excuses at all. She couldn’t understand why these things were happening between them. It frustrated her. 

Pieck knew she couldn’t take any frustrations out on Jean. He had literally done nothing but show concern for her. 

It was the Warrior who was a straight up liar. She acted like she was trying to avoid dangerous situations with the tall soldier and yet she somehow kept finding herself in them.

And to top it all off, she just couldn’t ignore how she was starting to feel about him. 

It was childish. She knew. And she had so many other priorities. She knew. 

But she couldn’t help but feel tremors in her heart whenever he touched her. Or got up close to her. Sometimes even when he just looked at her. 

It was pathetic. And so, _so_ dangerous. 

And yet she secretly kept looking forward to opportunities where she could indulge these feelings without suffering consequences.

For example, touching his goddamn cheek when he was sleeping. The actual audacity of her to do so was shocking. 

She couldn’t imagine what would have happened if he had woken up.

She just really felt like doing it. To brush her fingers over his cheek the way he had been able to do to her twice before.

What the hell was wrong with her. This wasn’t a competition. And she shouldn’t even be participating. 

Jean was a nice guy.

Okay, Jean was a nice, attractive guy. 

But he also had much less to lose if things took a much more dangerous turn. 

She had to keep whatever these feelings were in check. This must be happening because she had been treated like shit for a year. So after seeing a man treat her well, which in reality should be the bare minimum, she was just overwhelmed and confused by everything. 

Mmhm. Yeah, that must be it. 

It better be. 

“Dinner’s on the table,” the ex-CO’s voice called out, snapping her out of her thoughts. 

As Pieck walked into the dining room area and up to the meal Jean had placed down for her, she deliberately avoided looking in his direction.

When she got to the table, her eyebrows furrowed as she noticed something missing. 

He always left her a note but today he didn’t.

She bit her lip, wondering if he had just forgotten this time. Or did she maybe say something to him while she was out of it the night before? 

“Is everything okay?” his voice questioned from behind her. 

She turned around to find the tall soldier standing a few meters away, seemingly confused as to why she had just been staring down at the plate of chicken and rice that he left for her. 

He was holding his own plate of food. He always ate in his office so he wouldn’t be in her way. 

“No, it’s nothing,” she mumbled as she took a seat in front of her meal.

“Are you sure? I haven’t asked before but are there any foods you don’t like?” he questioned, sounding slightly nervous. 

What? Oh, he must have assumed she was unhappy with the food he made for her.

“No, I like everything. Thank you. You- you don’t have to cook for me, you know,” she replied, softly.

“I have to cook for myself either way. So I might as well cook for you as well, right? Anyways, if there isn’t a problem with the food, then why were you looking at it like that?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. 

Pieck shifted her eyes away from him and back down to the plate in front of her. 

“You didn’t leave a note today,” she whispered, cringing internally at how much more awkward she had just made the situation. 

“What was that? I wasn’t able to hear you,” the Scout responded back, walking a few steps over to her. She turned back to face him. 

For a moment, she was distracted by how laid back Jean looked today. His clothes were quite toned down from his usual dapper style. And even his demeanour seemed a little more relaxed around her. 

A _little_ more. His eyes were still shifting on and off of her all the time. 

She wasn’t any better though. She wondered how long they would actually be able to go without breaking eye contact.

She stared at him, realizing she hadn’t answered his question yet. 

“You usually leave a note. I was just wondering why you didn’t today,” she explained to him. 

Jean’s eyes widened, looking surprised.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I realized that I’ve been writing you notes without even thinking about whether you were able to read it. So I thought I should stop,” he said, casting his eyes down at the floor. 

“Oh, you found out I couldn’t read Paradis Eldian?” she clarified. 

He nodded at her, looking like he was beating himself up about it internally.

The former Cart Titan didn’t know what to say. 

Okay that was untrue. What she wanted to say was that she liked the notes and looked forward to them whenever she was about to eat.

What she ended up saying was:

“I was translating them.”

The usual pause of silence came between them. Made sense. She hadn’t ever told Jean what she had been up to the past few weeks when she wasn’t sleeping.

“I’ve been trying to learn how to read and write,” she confessed, earning a surprised look from the Scout.

“Really? That’s good to hear. I didn’t know you were doing that,” he said with more excitement in his tone than she had ever heard before.

Cute.

What the fuck was wrong with her.

Pieck watched as he casually placed his plate down and sat opposite to her. 

Was he planning on eating with her? Even something as trivial as that felt overwhelming to the former Titan shifter.

Her eyes unconsciously drifted to his hand, looking for any marks that may have remained after she pretty much clawed through him the night before. 

Thankfully, she didn’t see anything. 

She looked up at him and saw that the excitement in his eyes hadn’t faded yet. The Warrior decided to explain herself.

“I have some free time now so I wanted to learn how to read Paradis Eldian. I’ve been using your dinner notes to practice,” she said, trying her best to keep her tone indifferent. 

The last thing she wanted was for Jean to make a big deal out of this. Partially because she was feeling embarrassed about her incapability to read. And partially because the happiness she could see on his face was starting to stir up unnecessary notions in her. 

“You have? How?” he asked her.

So as they ate their first meal together, the Warrior explained to him how she took Falco’s notebook with the alphabet conversion. The kids wouldn’t have noticed it missing because they didn’t need it at all anymore. 

On most days she would practice by writing things down in Marley Eldian and then trying to rewrite it into Paradis Eldian without looking. 

Jean’s notes were a good challenge for her as well. She would use them to practice reading on the spot. 

“That’s amazing. The kids told me they wish you had the time to learn. And little do they know that that’s exactly what you’re doing,” the Scout chuckled lightly. 

The former Cart Titan hummed in response, taking a few more bites of the food he had made for her. He was a good cook. 

“Did you read a lot...back when you were in Marley?” the tall soldier questioned her. Pieck shook her head and continued to silently eat. 

She didn’t want to talk about just how little time she had spent outside her Titan. How much of the now destroyed world she hadn’t been able to experience as a simple human being. And how much of it _she_ aided in destroying before the Rumbling was even a thing. 

She had little to no experience with everyday, mundane things such as reading books.

“I don’t read much at all. Actually I never really did. And I hated doing it back in the Training Corps. But I always think about how much knowledge had been destroyed by the...Rumbling,” Jean muttered.

The Warrior studied his face, trying to ignore that he was already staring right back at her. 

She could see the guilt and regret in his pretty light brown eyes. Pieck knew she could never completely understand what he was going through. The same way he could never completely understand her as well. 

But she could tell enough from the almost-permanent look of misery on his face that he was agonizing over the fact that the puppet-like life he was living came at the cost of billions of lives. 

She scolded herself for her sudden temptation to brush her fingers over the heavy bags under his eyes. The petite woman once again wondered what _his_ nightmares were like. Though apparently even the Scout didn’t seem to know. 

Pieck realized she had just been staring at his face for much longer than was appropriate. And to make matters worse, Jean didn’t seem like he had averted his eyes from her at all either.

Perhaps _this_ was the longest they had both gone without breaking eye contact.

And with that thought, the former Titan shifter ducked her head down, trying to bring her focus back to her meal again. 

Oh right. There was something she had to say to him.

“Uh...I won’t be coming here tomorrow,” she announced, losing her willpower to resist and immediately looking back up at him so she could see his reaction.

Fuck.

The dangerous side of her was intrigued as she was met with a look of disappointment on the tall soldier’s face, and sadness in his eyes. 

The awareness that her heart was beating much faster in her chest wasn’t helping either. 

“Okay. Uh...can I ask why?” he asked, looking confused about the sudden statement.

“Falco didn’t seem like he was feeling well this morning. He said he was fine but just to be sure I want to stay with the kids tomorrow,” Pieck explained. 

The former Commanding Officer nodded, looking a little worried.

“He seemed fine when I saw him yesterday. Maybe I should have kept a better eye on him,” he wondered out loud. 

“No, I’m sure it’s just something seasonal. Don’t think you had anything to do with it,” she mumbled before taking the last bite of her meal. 

Picking up her plate, she hopped out of her seat and made her way over to the sink. She shut her eyes in frustration when, a moment later, Jean planned on doing the same thing.

She could feel his eyes on her and suddenly the former Cart Titan was overly conscious of everything. How she had to tippy toe to be able to reach the soap at the corner of the sink. How doing so meant that her already short dress was going to ride up even more. 

The Warrior thought back to the moment during her panic attack when the tall soldier had placed his coat over her legs. Technically, she didn’t remember him doing that. It was only after the attack had subsided that she realized he had covered up her exposed body.

Still, the realization that the Scout had seen her in her underwear was dawning on her. It automatically formed a blush on her cheeks. 

“Can I come?” Jean suddenly asked her. 

Taken aback, Pieck had to concentrate on keeping the plate steady in her hand as she turned to look at him. He was a good distance apart from her but based on her reaction, one would have thought he had just whispered in her ear. 

“What?” she asked back, trying to keep herself composed.

“To see Falco. And obviously Gabi as well,” he answered, giving her a small smile. 

The Warrior noted how endearingly the soldier said the kids’ names. 

“Yeah, I don’t have a problem with that,” she responded, turning back so she could finish washing her plate. 

After they had both finished cleaning up, Jean let out a quiet gasp and suddenly walked towards the hallway. 

“One second. I have something to show you,” he called out as he made his way over to his office. 

About half a minute later he was on his way back, clutching something in his big hand.

“Gabi and Falco secretly bought me this. Can you believe it? I’m still in shock,” he said as he made his way over to the living room where Pieck had gotten resettled. 

He handed her the item, and the petite woman tried her best to avoid making physical contact with him. 

But his hands were huge and inevitably, she felt his fingers brush against hers as he placed the item in her palm.

Her eyebrows raised as she looked at what it was. It was the same gift she had received from them. The former Commanding Officer had gotten a white stone with his name carved into it, just like her. The kids also had stones carved with their own names. 

It was thoughtful of Gabi and Falco to buy them all a memento. They seemed like they had a lot of fun with Jean at the festival. And they promised they were on their best behaviour, though the Warrior was quite suspicious of that claim. 

“It’s very pretty. I got one as well,” she said, handing it back to him. When he took it back, it felt like he deliberately lingered a second longer in his hold on her hand.

Or perhaps they both lingered. 

“Ah, I figured. I really like it. I can’t remember the last time I got a gift,” he softly chuckled, tucking the stone back into the pocket of his trousers.

Since they were already talking about gifts, Pieck reached over to pick up her new journal before she could stop herself.

“The kids also got me this,” she said, not realizing that a small smile had formed on her face.

She didn’t hand it over to him this time, trying to avoid any more situations where their hands could meet. She did look up at him though, wanting to see what he thought of the journal.

“Do you like it?” he asked her and she noticed that the same look of excitement from earlier had come back into his eyes.

“Yes, it’s beautiful,” she responded as she ran her hands over the cover of the journal. The gold tree in the middle of it was painted in intricate detail. 

It could very possibly be the most beautiful thing she owned. It warmed her heart that Gabi and Falco bought it for her. She did give them a bit of a scolding for spending so much money on her, though. 

“I feel like I might not deserve it,” she mumbled, mostly to herself. Jean caught it, though. 

Because of course he did.

“I think you do,” he whispered to her in response.

She looked at him, finding his eyes immediately. They looked like they were challenging her.

Fuck.

She took herself by surprise at how frustrated she suddenly got. She seldom felt frustrated throughout the past year. 

Correction: she seldom felt _anything_ throughout the past year. 

And that was because she had been numb to everything around her.

So why the hell did she start feeling so many things again?

Pieck eyes quickly broke contact with Jean’s pretty ones, and she turned her body so it was no longer facing him.

And why the hell did he have to be so damn handsome? 

____________________________________

  
  


“Jean!?” Gabi’s voice called out in both confusion and surprise as she heard him speak from the other side of the front door.

It was the next evening and the ex-CO was preparing himself to act like he was casually visiting the kids. 

When she opened the door to their cabin house, the young brunette peered up at him, likely wondering why the soldier showed up out of the blue.

“Why are you here this late?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at him. The Scout knew he shouldn’t be wishing he could fight a kid.

That didn’t stop him from narrowing his eyes right back at her.

“Gabi,” he heard a woman’s voice say, softly from behind the divider.

Oh. There it was. Her pretty voice. 

The reason why he had come a little late was so he could relieve some of Pieck’s worry by taking care of Falco while she was at her night shift. 

Also, he was starting to realize that he really enjoyed his interactions with the kids. He found himself missing them, even if he had seen them just a couple of days before. 

“Tch. Come in,” the brunette mumbled, swinging the door more open for him to enter. Jean smirked at her, earning him grumpy little mutters from the brat. 

“I was in the area so I thought I should drop by. Where’s Falco?” he asked.

As if right on cue, he heard quiet little murmurs come from behind the divider.

“Hello, Jean. Falco’s got a light fever. You should wash your hands before you see him,” Pieck said as she emerged out of the makeshift room. 

She looked extremely exhausted. The Scout wondered if she had even gotten a wink of sleep.

Falco’s fever must have made her stay up much longer than usual. 

“That’s too bad. Uh, it’s a complete coincidence that I happened to bring soup,” he said, holding up the bag in his hand.

He felt his heart stop for a beat as the Warrior gave him an expression that looked like she was saying he was both stupid and being way too obvious. 

Fuck. He really was stupid.

Whether Gabi bought the fib or not, she took the bag from him and made her way back to the kitchen.

The former Cart Titan pointed towards the back, where the tall soldier knew the bathroom was located. 

He stepped in and found himself in a bit of a tight space, especially because he was so tall. He hummed in satisfaction at the scent of lavender that immediately struck his senses. 

The sink was right in front of the entrance and there was a small mirror hanging above it. Next to the sink was the toilet and then far on the left was a squared shower stall. 

After washing his hands, he stepped back into their main room, wondering what he should do now.

“You can go see Falco. Gabi, go with him,” Pieck instructed from the kitchen.

Seeing the petite woman like this was quite different for him. She definitely seemed more relaxed. Which made sense because the kids were with her.

But it also helped him see her in her element as a guardian for the kids. Her tone was much more soft with them, but he could tell she wouldn’t hesitate to scold them, too.

And there was always more life in her eyes when she was surrounded by Gabi and Falco.

It kind of made him jealous, which he knew was a selfish thing for him to be envious about. 

Gabi hopped off her seat at the table and silently led him into the closed off room. There, he found Falco laying down on a floor mattress. 

“Hey, Falco. How’s it going?” he asked as the blonde boy gave him a small smile. Jean took a look around the place.

There were three floor mattresses laid side by side in the room. In front of each mattress, and up against the divider, there were three identical wooden dressers. And atop the dressers were things that were quite indicative of who had which spot.

The mattress furthest from the entrance would belong to Gabi. The ornate box she bought was placed right on top of her dresser, along with some books and other knick knacks.

Of course, the mattress Falco was on was his own. It was the one closest to the entrance. On top of his dresser were a lot more books, some pencils, and what looked like a game of some sort. 

The mattress in the middle had to be Pieck’s then. Which means the dresser in the middle had to be hers as well. Jean felt a tug in his chest as he spotted just one thing placed on it. The stone that Gabi and Falco had bought for her a couple of days ago. 

“Why are you here so late?” Falco asked him, snapping the ash-brown haired man’s attention back to him. 

The blonde boy didn’t look too bad, but he could tell there was heaviness in his eyes and a slight tremor in his body.

“I said I was in the area,” Jean mumbled, awkwardly shuffling further into the room after Gabi gave him a little shove.

“Pieck’s leaving soon. We already ate dinner so we can have your soup for lunch tomorrow,” she muttered to him.

The Scout placed a hand on top of her head and shook it just a little. Surprisingly, all he got out of that was an eye roll from her. He was expecting a couple of jabs at the very least.

“Mind if I stay here till she comes back then?” he asked the kids. They exchanged a look between the two of them.

“Why? I mean I’m fine with it, but why?” Gabi asked him, crossing her arms and tilting her head all the way up so she could look him in the eye. 

Jean shrugged at her as he stretched his arms. 

“I’m sure Falco thinks I’m much better company than you are,” he said as he took a seat on the floor with his back up against the blonde boy’s dresser. 

The young boy chuckled at Gabi’s heated reaction. 

“Shut up, Falco,” she grumbled as she plopped down against the wall next to her friend’s bed.

A few minutes into their bicker-chatting, Pieck walked into the room. 

A flustered Jean didn’t know whether to stand up or keep sitting as she walked past him and over to her floor mattress to grab her work bag that had been resting atop it. 

“I’m heading out. Gabi, lock the door right when Jean leaves,” she said as she made her way over to Falco’s bed.

The former Commanding Officer watched as she softly placed her hand on the blonde boy’s forehead. He noticed how she furrowed her eyebrows slightly.

“Drink lots of water. And don’t even think about getting out of bed unless it’s to go to the bathroom,” she warned him.

The blonde boy gave her a sigh and a nod. 

Pieck patted Gabi on the head before getting up and turning to face the Scout.

“Can you remind Gabi to lock the door when she sees you out?” she asked.

“Of course,” he responded, feeling a little captivated by how cool she was as she ordered them all around. 

When they were alone in his house, the minimal interactions they had never really showed this bold side to her. 

Well except for...when she put her hand on his cheek. Though she likely was assuming he was asleep when she did that. 

The tall soldier felt chills go through him as he remembered the feeling that tiny moment gave him.

Pieck walked past him and out the divider again. Jean followed her with his eyes the whole way.

“Ahem,” he heard Falco clear his throat. The tall soldier rolled his eyes and sighed. 

Even when they were sick these brats just couldn’t let him have a damn moment to look at the pretty Warrior.

\--

Jean had insisted on staying until Pieck came back. The kids didn’t really care. The two of them had a field day cracking jokes at his expense. 

They told him they succeeded in giving the Warrior the pretty journal. And that he owed them now because they got in trouble for it and didn’t rat him out. 

When they had both fallen asleep, Jean stepped outside and took a seat at the table. The only light in the entire house came from the window right next to him. 

He sat there for about two hours and had almost nodded off before he was startled awake by a scream. 

His heart felt like it flew out of his chest as he heard more screams come from the young brunette who had been quietly sleeping just a few moments before.

Oh right. Nightmares. 

The tall soldier flicked on the one lightbulb for the entire middle section of the house. It didn’t provide him with that much light, but it was bright enough for him to see where he was going when he raced back into the bedroom area.

He could see Falco straining to get up and the blonde boy looked at him with shocked eyes as the tall soldier ran up to where the brunette was still screaming.

“Jean! You’re still here! Gabi- I need to-”

“Stay where you are. Just tell me what I should do,” the Scout cut him off as he knelt on the floor next to the young girl.

Her body was shaking, similar to Pieck the other night, but the bone chilling screams were very much the opposite of the quiet panic attack the former Cart Titan had gone through.

“Hold her. You just need to hold her and make sure she doesn’t fling her arms anywhere. Sorry if she hits you. She’ll be out of it for a while,” Falco explained to him and the ex-CO nodded, immediately pulling Gabi’s shaking body up by her shoulders.

Jean wrapped his arms around her and was quickly met with a fist to his mouth. After struggling just a little, he successfully trapped the young girl’s arms between both their bodies so that she wouldn’t flail and strike him again. He frowned as he felt her tears seep in through his dress shirt. Her screams were muffled now, but they didn’t stop. 

The tall soldier gave her light pats on her back, remembering that was what his mom did for him back when he cried in her arms as a child. 

Jean kept whispering that she’ll be okay. He didn’t know if what he was doing was helping but it felt better to do something other than just listening to her scream. 

At around the ten minute mark her screams had stopped, but her body had still been shaking. It took maybe about fifteen minutes for the nightmare to pass entirely.

Finally, her body fell limp in his arms. Scared, the Scout placed two fingers on her neck, checking her pulse.

He let out a heavy breath and placed the small girl back down. He pulled the covers over her and glanced across the room at Falco who was looking relieved that it was over.

“S-Sorry! This happens a lot. We totally forgot to warn you,” he apologized to the older man.

“No, don’t apologize. I und-”

He was cut off by the sound of the front door opening.

“Pieck’s back,” Falco announced.

Footsteps made their way over to them and the tall soldier suddenly found himself meeting eyes with the Warrior. Her eyes went wide at the sight of Jean kneeling next to Gabi’s bed.

“Gabi had a nightmare just now. I told Jean how to help her,” Falco immediately explained.

Pieck’s expression turned to worry as she made her way over to where the Scout was. Jean moved out of the way so she could see the brunette. 

She checked up on the young girl and brushed away the hair that had gotten stuck to her face because of her tears. 

The exhausted woman let out a sigh as she stood back up.

“Falco. I’m going to see Jean out. Try to get back to sleep,” she whispered to the blonde boy.

Jean let her lead the way, giving Falco a quick wave as he left the bedroom area. 

They both silently walked to the door, with the tall soldier sweeping up his hat off of the table along the way. 

Before she got a hold of the door knob, Pieck paused and turned towards the Scout. 

He didn’t know why but her eyes widened at the sight of him. 

His heart raced as the petite woman raised her arm high and placed her soft fingers on his face. She held his cheek as her thumb landed on his bottom lip.

Pain suddenly shot through him, leaving him very much confused. He knew she caught the slight wince in his eyes. 

“Your lip is cut,” she whispered. Her tone was so soft the pain felt like it flew away.

He was stunned that the former Titan shifter was still holding onto him. It might be that she was a bit too exhausted to think about the consequences right now.

The way Pieck was touching his lip was very reminiscent of their fateful reunion almost a month back now, where the tall soldier had reached out to touch the cut on _her_ lip.

Except he definitely wasn’t planning on glaring at her. 

“It’s nothing. Gabi was very out of it,” he explained. The Warrior nodded, understanding what had probably happened.

She dropped her hand, and averted her eyes from him and down towards the floor.

“Sorry. You’ve been getting hurt a lot lately,” she whispered.

Jean didn’t know what possessed him to do it but it felt like his body was acting on its own as he used his hand to gently lift her head back up. 

Meeting eyes with her, he could see how strong she was. There was some kind of drive concealed beneath those dead eyes she always had. 

Good. It meant something was pushing the Warrior on. He was certain it was the kids.

Also she was so damn pretty. Even in dim lighting and after a long day.

Maybe it was because she had been on his mind a lot more, but Jean glanced at something he hadn’t given much thought to until the past couple of days.

Her lips.

Similar to everything else about her, her lips were dangerously beautiful. Her bottom lip was a bit more plump than the top one and he was suddenly so tempted to touch it. 

The Scout was struck with thoughts that weren’t supposed to come to his mind. 

Shit. He had to get out of there. 

As he let go of her and took a step back, he spotted the relief in her eyes. Along with that relief, though, he thought he also saw something else. 

Disappointment. 

His mind must be playing tricks on him. 

“If Falco’s still sick I’ll understand if you don’t come over for a while. But I, uh, really wish you would,” he admitted to her.

He had to whisper to prevent the chance of the kids overhearing them.

The Scout could hear the former Cart Titan’s breath hitch in the silence of the night. After a lingering gaze between the two of them, the tall soldier watched as she snapped right back into her usual state. 

Pieck unlocked the door, having to tippy toe to reach the top latch. 

Cute.

“Goodnight, Jean. Get home safe,” she whispered as she opened the door for him to leave.

At least a non-answer was better than a complete refusal. 

As he stepped out, he also could have sworn that even in that minimal lighting he could see a hint of red on Pieck’s cheeks.


End file.
